Any one of the 19 people gathered Sunday night at the Nevada State Library and Archives for a national candlelight vigil would give anything to not qualify for a membership in this club.
"We are here to remember our children who have gone too soon," said Dolores Sherman, a member of Compassionate Friends and mother of Tommy, who died in a 1985 car accident at the age of 17. On the day she should have attended Tommy's graduation, she instead buried her son.
Two months later, she lost her husband to brain cancer.
Now, 16 years later, Sherman stands with tear-stained eyes, knowing the pain that those around her feel in the loss of their child.
"I'm one of the longest grieving, here to help the newly bereaved. Someone has to be strong enough. I know there is hope at the end of the tunnel."
She, along with grieving parents around the globe, lit a candle on the second Sunday in December designated as National Children's Memorial Day.
The group read poems and listened to the wail of the bagpipe playing Amazing Grace as they came together to share their children's lives and stories.
"We come together for an evening of celebration, dedicated to our children and siblings whose lives ended to soon" Sherman said. "Their greatest gift to us was their life, their presence, their love."
In ceremony, five large candles were lit signifying grief, courage, memories love and hope.
From there, each candle held in the hands of those attending was lit as they said the names of their lost loved ones. Some said the name of their son or daughter, two said the name of their child and grandchild. One said her son and son-in-law. And one lost two of her natural-born children.
In a moment of silence, the lights to the room were shut off and the group sat silently.
"We have 189 newsletter subscriptions we send out to families in Northern Nevada," Sherman said. "We understand each other because we all have experienced the death of a child. You never expect to bury your child, you expect they'll bury you."
According to Compassionate Friends' Web site, 19 percent of the adult population has experienced the death of a child, and 22 percent the death of a sibling. An estimated 350 parents lose a child everyday in the U.S.
"People think they can deal with this grief, but they need support," she said.
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