Holiday Memories: My life-long lesson

At the beginning of my senior year in high school, 1972-73, my mother and stepfather moved to a large farm house in a new town. The move created tense moments in our home for several months.

The National Honor Society at my new high school followed its yearly tradition of providing gifts for senior citizens who had no family to share holiday festivities. Every member drew a name. However, unlike the other members, I was neither pleased nor excited at having another stranger in my life, no matter how brief the moment.

I missed my friends and their holiday parties until I realized this person had no family or friends. The name on the slip of paper was Martha Ellen Aubrey. Since my middle name was JoEllen, I tried very hard to find some charity in my heart for this person who had no family. I knew that I would provide a gift for this person, but there was no joy in sharing or anticipation of the upcoming season.

Upon returning home from school, my mother asked if I had remembered to draw the name of my senior citizen. She wanted to do some Christmas shopping the next day. When I gave her the slip of paper, she looked at it and asked, "Is this some kind of joke?"

I did not understand why mom was so upset. She called the school counselor and asked which senior facility furnished the names. Then she called the retirement home in our new town and explained that she thought her grandmother was a resident. The next thing my siblings and I knew, we were sitting in the lobby of the retirement home while my mother talked with the director.

My great-grandmother remarried late in her life. He was a stranger to the family. Because Grandma Aubrey knew several family members were upset by the marriage, she severed family ties and moved away with her new husband. No one in my family knew anything about him, or where the newlyweds went. No one in his family knew anything about Martha or her family.

After Mr. Aubrey passed away and when Martha became infirm, his family had her admitted to the retirement home. My mother's side of the family thought that Grandma Aubrey had passed away somewhere and did not know where to begin to look for information.

My mother was in tears when she saw her grandmother again for the first time in several years. At the age of 17, I was re-introduced to my great-grandmother who used to play dolls with me under the kitchen table when I was 5 years old.

My mother spent the happiest of holidays with her grandmother that year. She renewed her own connections with family members as she contacted them about Grandma Aubrey. My grandmother, Elsie, was moved beyond words to know that her own mother was alive and had been found. The spare rooms at our new house became impromptu guest rooms as mom's family all visited Grandma Aubrey that holiday season and during the months afterward. When we moved away from that town a year later, my mother made arrangements to move Grandma Aubrey to a retirement home in our town.

My mother insisted that I draw a different name. Martha Ellen Aubrey did, in fact, have a family to love and share that holiday season with her. They enjoyed all the holidays with her for the next few years.

Christmas 1972 was my life-long lesson in the importance of helping the less fortunate.