Raising a child with fetal alcohol syndrome

Clark Woods is raising a boy who exhausts him. Even at 9 years old, Wade can't read. He is not clear on the difference between right and wrong. He is terrified of being punished, but constantly makes trouble for himself and his dad. He is disruptive at school and nearly everywhere else.

And, what is really troubling, he may have killed a little girl.

Author Craig Lesley didn't look far for the main characters in his new book, ''Storm Riders.'' Lesley is his main character, Clark Woods, and Wade is the Indian boy he adopted.

Lesley and his first wife knew when they took in the real Wade that he was a troubled boy - his father died in an accident, his alcoholic mother abandoned him - but they didn't know that Wade's problems were even deeper than the emotional scars.

Wade is a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, a completely preventable birth defect that, after it happens, is also completely incurable. All parents can do is cope.

Lesley took in the real Wade before anyone ever heard of fetal alcohol syndrome.

''We didn't have the FAS diagnosis when we first got Wade,'' Lesley said from his Portland, Ore., home. ''He was diagnosed as autistic, learning disabled, mentally retarded.''

The behaviors of children who have fetal alcohol syndrome can be similar to any of those: They act impulsively, they have distorted sensory awareness, they learn slowly and show poor judgment, they have short attention spans and are easily distracted.

Lesley says the response from readers since ''Storm Riders'' came out a few months ago has been stunning.

''So many people have said, 'This is like my brother who is autistic,' or 'This reminds me of my sister, who is learning disabled.' ''

The remarkable thing is, ''Storm Riders'' is not a particularly hopeful book. As it opens, Woods is coming home on a rainy night and sees a neighbor looking for her daughter. The 3-year-old is found hours later, drowned near a drainage culvert. At first the tragedy looks like an accident, but later, what happened is less certain. Things that Wade says indicate he may know more about the girl's death than he should.

Lesley did not invent the story of the drowned toddler for dramatic effect.

''The whole incident of the drowning was absolutely true,'' he said. He did have a young neighbor go missing, and she was found dead. ''Then police officers show up and start blaming your kid.''

As the boy grows older, life does not improve for Woods, or Lesley. His first wife leaves him, partly because of Wade, and life with his second wife grows increasingly complicated. Puberty hits Wade hard - FAS children often have difficult times with sexual impulses. Wade begins to act out more violently. He attacks a favorite dog; he may even be trying to hurt his baby sister. In the end, when Wade is a teenager, Woods gives the boy up.

''I hope the book helps people see that maybe their expectations (for these children) are unrealistic,'' Lesley said. ''This was really a hard book to write - I'm not a person who expects to fail.''

In the audience at his talks and book signings, he meets person after person who feel the same way. They adopted children who were FAS or had other severe emotional disabilities, and they don't know what to do.

With FAS children, Lesley said, there is a different measurement for success.

''You don't fail if you keep them out of jail or out of a mental institution,'' he said. ''You have succeeded.''

His foster son - the real Wade - is now in his 30s, a milestone for those with FAS.

''Experts say that if the kids make it to 30, their brains seem to change,'' Lesley said. ''They seem to get in less trouble and develop more of a social conscience. But it's a long struggle to get someone to 30 years old, and they'll never be self-sufficient.''

Lesley's foster son is one of the small, relatively happy statistics. He knows his father and is happy to see him when Lesley visits. Of the 17 children born to Wade's alcoholic mother, he is the only one still living and not in an institution.

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.shns.com.)