By Don Quilici
In keeping with a tradition of many years, here are the 2004 prestigious and, perhaps, not-so-prestigious winners of the annual Don Q awards:
• Criminal of The Year: Whoever the person was who left the deserted campfire that resulted in the disastrous Waterfall Fire this last summer. If he or she is ever caught and convicted, I hope they spend a long time in prison.
• Sneakiest Trick of The Year: Whoever keeps lengthening the red phases of the traffic lights of the side streets that intersect Carson Street. If that's your idea of improving traffic flow, you get a grade of "F" from all of us frustrated motorists.
• Advice From A Native Nevadan: State Controller Kathy Augustine. If you should ever decide to run for public office again, a whole bunch of us "Hicks," who are proud to live in this "Hick" state, have a surprise waiting for you.
• Adios: Soon-to-be-ex-Fire Chief Buckley, who did not return from his vacation for the Waterfall Fire. I, for one, will not miss that style of "Devotion to Duty" and "Leadership."
• An Outstanding Choice: Stacey Giomi as the new Carson City Fire Chief. His professional, competent and calm leadership during the Waterfall Fire was sincerely appreciated by everyone in Carson City. Best wishes!
• Best Disappearing Act: Carson City's snow removal on those streets not designated as "Snow Routes" when our big storm hit on Friday night, Nov. 26. The valley portions of Carson City saw as many snow plows as you see at high noon on the Fourth of July: Nada, Nil, Zip, Zero! It was P-I-T-I-F-U-L!
• Five Star Performance: The NDOT snow removal on all the streets and highways they plow in the Carson City area. You guys are the absolute best and should give some badly-needed lessons to Carson City. Well done!
• Worst Pot Holes in Town: On Mallory Way at it's intersection with Roop St. That portion of Mallory Way looks like a war was fought there.
• I Wanna Make More Money: Those out-of-state, big game hunting guides (The U.S. Outfitters), who filed a lawsuit, which basically claims that they are losing money from states such as Arizona and Nevada for not issuing more Non-Resident big game hunting tags. Worse yet, those guys wearing black dresses (The judges of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco) agreed!
• Best Fishing Trip of The Year: It was on Friday, Nov. 11, when four of us caught and released a total of 65 Lahontan cutthroat trout while trolling at Pyramid Lake with good friend Dick "Father" Murphy of Sun Valley, Nev.
• Big Game Hunter of The Year: Ron Pierini, Sheriff of Douglas County, who bagged a very nice billy Rocky Mountain Goat, high up in the Ruby Mountains of Elko County and then several days later, flew to Canada where he got a 1,000 pound bull Moose. Well done!
• Thanks for The Memories: The Outdoor Recreation Show on Carson Access Television Channel 10 which went off the air in late November after a successful run of many, many years. It was a ton of fun, but everything has to come to an end, sooner or later.
• Kitchen Attendant of The Year: Karl Horeis of the Nevada Appeal who signed on as a kitchen attendant, so he could take a 5-6 month trip to the continent of Antarctica. Geez, you would think that he could find a better kitchen job, a heck of a lot closer to Carson City.
• Scariest Sight of The Year: The woman in the dark-colored dress, with a brace on her right leg (the one you use for the brake and gas pedals) who got into her SUV on Nov. 15 at the Carson Mall. Then she drove off, while busy talking on a cell phone and checking her makeup in the rearview mirror! Wow!
• Buyer Beware: Doug Busey for being smart enough not to buy a used fishing boat whose "owner" could not produce the title.
• Biggest Catch of The Year: Andy Moore for catching his own arm with the treble hook on his lure at Pyramid Lake. It hurt a whole lot more coming out than it did going in.
• Newest Denver Bronco Fan: Me! I tried to purchase a brand new, bright yellow, little 4X4 pickup on two different occasions in Denver. The first time, a severe hailstone storm trashed our brand new truck, parked on the lot. The second time, I had two heart attacks shortly before we were to leave to get the new truck. Did some evil Denver Demon know that I was an Oakland Raider fan?
• Can You Hear Me Now: Dick Biggs (He is 87 going on 88), who is on the verge of getting a badly needed hearing aid. Yahoo! Now we don't have to shout or repeat ourselves anymore.
• Of Course, I Know What I'm Doing: Norm Budden for trying to unlock the door on his wife's (Caroline) car with the keys to his truck. There was a lot of bad swearing that night.
• Luckiest Player and Weirdest Point Counter: Kathi Quilici in the cribbage games at our cabin. No one can beat her beginner's luck and her point counting is really weird, such as: "15-2, 15-4, 15-7".
• Best High Jump in The World: Bob "Slick" McCulloch when Norm Budden, who was walking behind him in rattlesnake-infested country, hit him on the leg with the tip of his fishing pole, while shouting "Look Out."
• Second Worst Boat Driver in The World: Don Hettrick for trying to steer his boat with his elbow while facing the opposite direction on our fishing trip at Wildhorse Reservoir. Geez, I hope I never have to ride with the world's worst boat driver, whomever that might be.
• Honey, I've Got Some Bad News For You: The night Elaine accidentally canceled my Master Card credit card during the Spanish instructions on the telephone. She was trying to see if my card had any new charges on it for drawing big game hunting tags.
• Thanks for The Weekly Info: All of my contacts who very graciously and generously provide me with detailed, weekly fishing reports for each of their areas. All the way from Shasta County in Northern California to Crowley Lake in the Bishop area to Wildhorse Reservoir in Northeastern Nevada. They make fishing reports easy to provide every week.
• Special Thanks No. 1: All the faithful readers of the weekly "Outdoors" page.
• Special Thanks No. 2: All the special folks at the Nevada Appeal, who help bring the "Outdoors' page to you every Thursday.
• Special Thanks No. 3: Cathleen "Cat" Allison, Rick Gunn and Rhonda Costa-Landers at the Nevada Appeal for all of their invaluable help and advice.
• Happy New Year to Everyone! And, if you make any resolutions, be sure to live up to them in 2005!