Rhinoceros Abatement: still perfect

We see that the "Rhinoceros Abatement Program" (RAP) is working successfully in Carson City these days .... It was started back when Hal Dunn was sheriff, and obviously has been continued by Sheriff Furlong ... 'cuz we haven't seen a rhino around in quite a while ... (just as obviously, we seem to have too much time on our hands ...)

n n n

George W. Bush is seeking a "gay marriage" amendment to the Constitution ... what is he afraid of? Doesn't he know that morality is hard to legislate? Since over 50 percent of all heterosexual marriages end in divorce in this country, maybe he should abolish them, too. Other than offending some people's sensibilities, how is anyone actually going to be hurt? "Judge not, lest ye be judged ..."

n n n

Sam Bauman, Appeal columnist, is famous this week ... his "letter to the editor" appeared in this month's AARP magazine ... gee, Sam, we didn't know you were that old ...

n n n

Once again, the Oscars were given out ... and, once again, we didn't win ... of course it might help if we made a movie ... then again ...

n n n

Ever notice how the parking lots around state buildings are almost empty on Friday afternoons? Is everyone on "flex time?" Just wondering ...

n n n

Must be that "championship season" ... the Carson High School boy's team won the NIAA skiing championship ... and the CHS bowlers won their league championship for the fourth straight year ... no wipeouts or gutter balls for them ...

n n n

Yodelayheehoo ... cowboy poetry is returning to Carson City ... the ever-popular Carson-Tahoe Hospital Auxiliary's fund-raiser will be on March 13, with two performances at 4 and 8 p.m. (and a barbecue in between, if you cough up the extra bucks) ... tickets are at the door ... and if you haven't ever been, tell Sourdough Slim we sentcha ... for information, call 883-1552 ... it's lots of fun ...

n n n

Carolyn (the producer) and Kathy Hearn (the director) were at auditions for the Senior Follies, coming up this May ... "They're such troupers," they said of the people trying out (it was a "nasty-weather day") ... they will have another audition tomorrow at the Senior Center at 5:30 p.m....to those "vanting to be a star"...come on down ...

n n n

If you don't want Ralph Nader on the ballot ... don't sign the petition ... if you do, do ...

n n n

"Someone" we know and love, ordered dinner out the other night, along with an order of lemon meringue pie ... imagine to her surprise, when she opened the box and found it full of sliced lemons .... Apparently there was a communications breakdown ... or maybe it's time for the diet to begin ...

n n n

Maizie's eye surgeon, Dr. Robert Wolff, is now in Carson City ... welcome ... and she's glad she won't have to drive to Reno anymore with one eye closed ... (no, she didn't actually do that ... but it sounded good ...)

n n n

A former prison guard we know was speaking the other day about how most prisoners have no sense of responsibility, and that most of them have more money than the guards because their families work two or three jobs to keep them in clover ... just think ... free rent, medical bills, air conditioning, heat, food, clothing, education, etc. ... One of the prisoners had said to him, "The only difference between you and me is that I can't go out the front door ... but then I don't have to pay for anything, either." No wonder there's an 85 percent recidivism rate ... it's cushy in there ...

n n n

Carolyn went to Adele's after the play the other night for a little "late night" snack ... only to find out that the kitchen was closed. She sniveled and groveled, so Ellen said she would see if she could find her some soup. When she brought her clam chowder and bread (which was much appreciated), Charlie Abowd (the chef and owner) was sitting at the bar saying, "How did you get that? I'm not in the kitchen." Carolyn just smirked and said, "You have to know someone." Apparently, that "someone" isn't Charlie ...

'Til next week ...

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Contact them by writing to editor@nevadaappeal.com.