Here is the latest "Don Q" version of a whole bunch of "head scratchers" in my life.
I wonder why:
• When checking on my weekly fishing reports, some fishing destinations always tell me that fishing is "Red Hot" at their location, time after time after time?
Geez, I might be ugly but I'm sure as heck not that stupid.
• When fishing from my little raft at a high mountain lake, I often catch trout in front of some part of that lake where I would never think of fishing from shore?
Gosh, maybe when shore fishing you should pick out the most unlikely place to begin fishing and then you'll be able to nail those wily trout.
• You always, always lose your favorite lure to a snag rather than to a large fish?
Heck, if I had $1 for every favorite lure I have lost to a snag, I would have the money to buy a bunch of new ones.
• Many anglers hold their hands further apart that the actual measurement when proudly describing the length of a fish they caught?
I've seen some of those fishermen hold their hands almost two feet apart when describing a 10-12 inch trout. Spectacular but very misleading.
• My longtime, good friend, Doug Busey of Douglas County, calls himself "Mack-The-Naw" when he almost always fishes for rainbow trout and rarely for Mackinaw trout?
Geez, maybe he should change his nickname to "Doug-The-Rainbow."
• Some lucky, big game hunters draw a rifle bull elk tag on their first try and I am still waiting for my first-ever tag, after many years of trying.
Oh well, they are probably the very same people who hit a Royal Flush on a poker machine, while I am losing all my money, right next to them.
• Some folks will tell you that they can't bring themselves to hunt deer because they could never shoot something with brown eyes that is so cute?
By the way, these are the same people who are telling you this, while they are busy enjoying a tasty dinner of lamb chops. Go figure!
• Senior citizens, like me, can purchase their fishing and hunting licenses at a very handsome discount when compared to other sportsmen?
Heck, we are the ones who have all the time in the world to fish/hunt, whenever we want to, which makes us a significant impact on the resources.
• When you are in Nevada's backcountry and see a tan-colored pickup with a Caravan camper top, you know instantly that it is NDOW's "Friendly Old Game Warden?"
Maybe, it is because NDOW must have gotten one heck of a good deal on tan paint and Caravan camp tops.
• Fresh-brewed coffee and sizzling bacon smell so darn good, when are being cooked outdoors?
Wow! I just happened to think: Maybe your nose works better outdoors!
• Mosquitoes attack Elaine but seldom attack me?
Hmmm, could it be that they attack her because she smells sweet and they don't attack me because I stink. Makes sense to me!
• How some deer manage to work their way into the main parts of Carson City, without being harmed or terrified?
A short while ago, Elaine photographed a doe, happily munching on a neighbor's flowers and bushes, just several houses from ours, and we are only two blocks from Carson St.
• When you are on the open highway and see a Sports Utility Vehicle or passenger van driving way over the speed limit, it is invariably a woman driver?
It's true! Heck, if you don't believe me, check it out the next time one of them speeds past you on the highway.
• You often see out-of-state, high-priced motor homes or large, expensive-looking travel trailers parked overnight in Super Store parking lots?
Hmmm, all of our RV parks must be filled to capacity. Yeah, right!
• Some self-important dummies will tie up a boat ramp and keep all other boaters waiting, while they slowly load/unload fishing or water skiing equipment, clothing ice chests, etc.?
Believe it or not, some of those "VIP's" have even taken the time to wipe off their boats while tying up the ramp.
• Some folks (AKA "Old Geezers") drive so slow and put on their brakes at each and every intersection when traveling on Division St., which is an arterial?
If you ever get trapped behind one them, you'll know it.
• Some male joggers, without shirts, always seem to jog next to streets or roads where there is lots of traffic whizzing past?
If I'm supposed to be impressed with their bodies, I ain't!
• When you see a male bicyclist, happily pedaling along a busy street or highway, he invariably has a mustache?
Darn, I don't have a mustache, so I guess I'm doomed to doing other fun things like remodeling my house, digging water pipe trenches, replacing rain gutters or putting in a back patio.
• When some people are walking their dog on a leash, they seem to think that it's perfectly OK to let their dog leave its "Calling Card" on your front lawn?
I bet that those people would probably call the cops if I were to do the same thing on their front lawn. Hey, fair is fair!
• The authorities talk about immediately rehabilitating the countryside after a devastating fires such as the recent "Waterfall Fire?"
I hate to cloud up and rain on their parade, but some areas around here are still devoid of pine trees even after 20-30-40 years of waiting for them to return.
• At a construction site, you will occasionally see a warnning sign that says "Open Trench?"
I know that I will never be on the TV show "Jeopardy," but geez, what other kind of trench is there?
• Carson City has to pay $15 million in gas tax monies as an INCENTIVE for NDOT to complete our bypass, while work is speeding along on the new bypass in Pleasant Valley?
Maybe Carson City should pay its gas tax in the same manner that our bypass is being built...s-l-o-w-l-y.
• You never, never, never see a policeman giving a ticket for someone running a red light on Carson Street?
If I had that concession, I could retire (again!) with what I could earn at just the four intersections of Long, Williams, Fairview and Clearview.
• Finally, all of this "Wondering Why' makes me weary, so I think I'll sneak off to our cabin in the mountains to wonder why about other things.
• Bet Your Favorite Pigeon
Bet your favorite pigeon which of the above riles me the most.
If he grins and says it is the slow-poke drivers on Division St., he has been with me while I was ranting and raving behind one of those vehicles.