ESPN scrapes bottom

ESPN television always produces its fair share of meaningless programming. Recently, viewers have been treated to a steady dose of three new shows that joined the growing list - Bowling Night, Battle of the Gridiron Stars and Stump the Schwab.

Bowling Night pits current star athletes in a sport they're all terrible at, Battle of the Gridiron Stars is by far the cheesiest version of ABC's Superstars yet invented, and the Schwab is an annoying slob whose only possible purpose in life is to answer questions about every little-known fact in sports.

These shows are more than enough to make every good sports fan beg for the return of the National Hockey League. This should forever be one of the best times of the year because the NHL playoffs usually are in full swing. Instead, the owners have locked out the players because of money.

So, who's to blame for us fans getting made-for-TV bowling in the place of intense, physical action?

The NHL players.

According to the league and the owners, 20 of 30 teams lost money last year, and a total of $500 million went unrecovered from 2002-04. Of all the cash that fans spent, 75 percent of it was going to players' salaries. It was just a matter of time before the owners said, "Enough!"

During negotiations, the players did seem willing to accept a much-needed salary cap, but naturally the two sides differed on what it should be. The players said $49 million, the owners said $42 mil. Although it would be easy to say that a $45 mil. cap compromise was in order, with 30 teams and the $7 million difference for each club, 210 million total dollars was still a lot to squabble over.

Nevertheless, with player salaries averaging $1.3 mil. a season, a drop of $50,000 per contract should have seemed insignificant. For the good of the game, the players certainly should have taken the owners' offer. Why be so greedy when you are the ones privileged enough to be playing the game?

Of all the major North American leagues that could have lost an entire season because of a labor dispute, it is depressing that the great sport of hockey was the one. For the first time since a 1919 flu epidemic, sadly there will be no hoisting of Lord Stanley's Cup. Thousands of American workers have been laid off, while more than half of our star players are thrilling fans in Europe. Without a collective bargaining agreement, there will be no June entry draft, and replacement players are not a future viable option. With no end in sight, the next lockout deadline is next Jan. 15.

Yes, it sounds horrible. But it could be worse. We could be living in Canada, where hockey is a way of life. As long as there is no hockey, the Stanley Cup rests in, of all places, Tampa Bay. O, Canada!