Will Louie see his shadow on Grounddog Day?

Groundhog Day is tomorrow, and, in lieu of a real groundhog here in Carson City, we suggest Louie, Mayor Marv Teixeira's dog, be ushered out to see if he can see his shadow ... .

If he does, we'll get six more weeks of winter ... if he doesn't, spring will be just around the corner; therefore, we suggest that, before he is allowed out, someone put a blindfold on him to guarantee the latter ... arf, Louie ... (that's "thanks" in dog lingo ... don't ask how we know.)

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Tonight, auditions for Proscenium Player's "Bleacher Bums" are being held at the Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., at 6:30 p.m. Just show up and prepare to be a long suffering Chicago Cubs fan ... there are 10 speaking parts, but director Carla Wilson wants a few people in the stands for "decoration."

Maizie has dibs on being an old lady who eats hot dogs and needs Depends ... Carolyn wants to be the lady who brings in a picnic basket with candles and quiche ... typecasting, you think? Yea, Cubbies ...

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After this, we have the Super Bowl and the Oscars ... who cares? At last count, we don't have tickets nor have we been nominated (what? you have to be in a movie?) ... 'course we could hold out for "entertaining" at half-time ... no talent needed for that ....

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Speaking of movies (that was loose) ... what's become of Jethro's? We were looking forward to more theaters and restaurants ... per Carolyn, "He don't call ... he don't write ... " So, what's going on? Inquiring minds want to know ....

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We got some great news from DeeAnn Parsons ... there's a new wine for seniors. Seems the Napa Valley vintners who produce pinot blanc, pinot noir and pinot grigio, have developed a new grape that acts as an anti-diuretic ... it will reduce the number of trips seniors make to the bathroom each night, and will be marketed as "pinot more" ... just remember ... you heard it here first ...

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The voting is over in Iraq, and they will be drafting a new constitution ... it has been suggested by two of our readers that we give them ours ... "It was written by a lot of smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore ... " (by the way, both of these readers are die-hard Republicans ... so don't blame us ... )

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Good news for Valentine's Day lovers ... Clayton Ridley, a student at Douglas High School, wrote to tell us that his high school barbershop quartet will be delivering singing valentines on the 14th ... for $25, you can have a song, a card, a flower and a photo of the delivery if you call him at 790-2233 or 265-6125. Space is limited, so call early and surprise your sweetheart.

He also told us that the Douglas High Tigers marching band didn't march, but were allowed to entertain before the inaugural parade ... and were featured on a few news stations ... they all had a blast ...

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And don't forget to get a ticket on the 2004 Dodge Viper ... an $85,000 car to be given away on the 14th. The CC and Minden Community Counseling Centers' youth programs will benefit ... a minimum of 750 $100 tickets will be sold, with a max of 1,000 ... contact 882-3945 or Adele's for a ticket ...

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Tomorrow night, Nevada Neighbors, Capital City Arts Initiative's lecture series will feature "Desert Survival: Arizona Artists," a slide lecture by Arizona State University Art Museum curator John Spiak ... he'll be featured at the Carson City Library at 7 p.m., with a reception preceding the lecture at 6:15 ... it's free and open to the public ... so if you need culture ... now's your chance ...

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We certainly received a lot of responses to our remarks on the Bible and to Roger Kirkland's letter about our sophomoric humor and the "chasm-like quality of your ignorance about it [the Bible]." Ahhh, you see, Mr. Kirkland, if God had no sense of humor, you, and we, wouldn't be here ... as for name changes, we think you verified what we wondered; i.e., Simon became Petras became Peter, etc.

As for quoting John LeMoult (we've never met the man), we continue to wonder how some people thank God for saving them from a cataclysm, while others are slain ... were the former's prayers better than the latter's? We think not ... and consider it still a mystery ... however, we're glad you have the answers ... and agree with you that prayer, like love, is never wasted ...

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We leave you with one of the Washington Post's Style Mensa Invitational ... i.e. take any word from the dictionary and replace, add, or subtract one letter and supply a new definition: "Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it ... " Amen ...

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Editor's note: Last week, this column criticized an unnamed restaurant for a bad steak. In doing so, the Nevada Appeal inadvertently managed to insult all the restaurants in town, and for that we sincerely apologize.

Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.