Not responsible for side splitting or gut busting

"The Foreigner," a wonderful roll-in-the-aisles comedy by Larry Shue, will be the Proscenium Players' first production of its 40th season. It will open Friday (followed by an opening-night party guaranteed to satisfy your champagne/sparkling cider Southern-fried-cooking fantasies) at the Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., at 8 p.m.

Carolyn is producing it, and Maizie is the director and set designer (she will also have the "Depends" concession at the entrance, because you'll need them). PPI did the play 16 years ago, and four of the original seven actors are reappearing in their roles ... they are Helaine Jesse as that cute lil' ol' Betty Meeks, Tim Morsani as the suavely charming the Rev. David Marshall Lee, Lisa Hersey as the lovely but somewhat piqued Catherine Simms and Jody Paslov as her inordinately "intelligent" brother, Ellard Simms (well, maybe ... but he is adorable).

The cast is rounded out by Rod Hearn as the sweet but "pathologically shy" Charlie Baker, Phil Harriman as the soundly disturbed Owen Musser (who belongs to a "secret" fraternal organization that you'll recognize immediately) and Jaime Dunbar, as "Froggy" LeSueur, a British soldier who can be blamed for the whole situation ... and we're glad he is ... otherwise we wouldn't have a play.

Additional play dates are Saturday and Sept. 23, 24, 25 (2 p.m. matinee), 30 and Oct. 1. For information and reservations (you'll need them), call the BAC at 883-1976. There are no late admissions, and if you miss this one, you'll be sorry. General admission is $12; $10 for seniors, students, and PPI and BAC members. It's a great "date" play (you can't go wrong bringing your "sweetie"), and it's suitable for children.

Also, you will see the hard work of all the backstage people who contribute as much to a play as the actors ... they are all listed in the program, and believe us, they are all gems ... so be there and help us "break a leg" ... and if you injure yourself laughing, be sure your medical insurance is up to date ... 'cause we kill ourselves every night watching this thing ... Klatu barada nikto ... " da bees come down ..."

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Don and Elaine Quilici love to dine at the Nugget Steakhouse and did so last week. He also loves to needle the waiters and waitresses, who give it back to him in spades. When he left the restaurant this time, he soon heard his name on the PA system ..." Will Mr. Don Quilici please return to the Steakhouse?"

Seems Carson City's "raconteur" had failed to pay all of his bill, much less leave a tip ... tch, tch, tch ... (signs of early dementia, Don? Or are you imitating our feathered friends ... cheap, cheap, cheap?) (draw smugly superior grin in here________)

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Carolyn, dressed like a harem girl, had a particularly fine time at Burning Man ... particularly at the coffee concession ... do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face when drinking coffee next to a naked man? We all know it was the conversation that was the important thing ... sure ...

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Mel Rappaport sent us this story about Picabo (pronounced Peek-a-boo) Street, the famous Olympic skier ... seems she works as a nurse in the intensive-care unit of a large metropolitan hospital, but she is not permitted to answer the phone. It caused too much confusion when she answered, "Picabo, ICU."

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Congrats to the city of Carson for the great re-do of Roop Street ... looks good, works fine (we like the light at Winnie Lane), and was done in a very timely manner. Also, part of the new freeway is open at the north end of town ... nuthin' but progress here. Now if the Kmart, Wal-Mart, Jethro and Penney fiascos could just be solved ... and do the big cottonwood trees on East Fifth Street have to come down for the overpass? Inquiring minds want to know. Also, don't forget the duck ponds (but, we're dreaming again) ...

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This Sunday, St. Teresa's Basque Festival will be held at Fuji Park at noon. Wonderful food and entertainment for $25 per person (16 and under are free) ... you can't go wrong here. Also, the third annual Alzheimer's Memory Walk will take place on the Capitol grounds. For information, go to www.alznornev.org to sign up or to the Senior Center to pick up a registration form. It's great reason to go walking.

Happy b-days to the Big C's relatives ... her granddaughter, Lexie Lequerica, will be 9; and her daughter, Kim Johnston, and niece, Christi Schmid, will be (gee, the note we had seems to have smudged here) ... oh well ... they'll be "a year older" ... congratulations anyway ...

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What happened to the warm weather? Or did winter come and forget to tell us?

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A friend told us the following: "St. Peter greeted some people from a church who had all died in a bus crash ... he welcomed them all cheerfully into Heaven, but as they came in, one of them was puzzled by all the walls he saw.

He asked, 'Why are there walls in Heaven, St. Peter?'

'Oh,' he replied, 'that way each religion thinks they're the only ones who made it here ...'"

Too funny ... but pathetically true in some cases ...

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We'll end this week by mentioning some of the nice people we've seen recently ... Linda and John Hurzel, Jenny and Barry Smith, Linda and Ralph Marrone, Margie and Les Groth, Jennie and Ed Cordisco, Karen and Rex Baggett, Collie and Charlie Hutter ... these are only a few of them ... we are fortunate to know you ...

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.