Here's a test to gauge allegiances in a candidate

Follow the money ... good advice for the coming election season. Keep repeating it to yourselves, and check out each candidate. By "following the money," you can see where the candidate's allegiances lie. If all their money comes from a certain PAC (political action committee), you can bet your bippy they will be beholden to them at some point down the line, and that "their PAC" will be telling them how to vote. Better they represent a whole lot of different points of view, so that one does not hold sway over another. Since the election season is soon upon us ... caveat emptor.

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Carolyn heard about this true story from a newspaper in Wisconsin... "Seems two hunters took their new Lincoln Navigator (retail about $42,500, with payments of $560 a month), their guns and their black Lab out duck hunting in the middle of winter in northern Wisconsin. They drove onto a frozen lake and, thinking to make a 'natural' open-water area for ducks, took out a stick of dynamite with a 40-second fuse, lit it, and threw it as hard as they could to make a 'lake.' Remember the dog? He was taught to retrieve. You guessed it. The lab, thinking, 'This is great fun!' retrieved the lit dynamite and began to return it to his master. The guys yelled and yelled, but the dog, thinking he's doing the right thing, kept on coming. They shot bird shot at the dog, who, by now - confused - ran under the Navigator, was stung by the hot tailpipe, dropped the dynamite, and took off after the two 'hunters.' The dynamite blew up, the Navigator sank like a stone, and the guys found out that a dumb stunt like that is not covered by insurance. Guess who's still paying $560 a month? The dog is doing fine."

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Good things going on: The Kiwanis Club is having its great spaghetti feed and bingo Saturday evening from 4:30-8 p.m. at the Carson City Senior Citizens Center as a benefit for Meals on Wheels. Cost is $5 seniors; $7 general; $20 family of four. Call 883-0703 for additional information. Good folks, good food, good cause.

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And now a "good news/bad news" thing: Jackie Maye will be giving a "Farewell Concert" at Comma Coffee at 8 p.m. on May 6 (the good news), just prior to her moving to Florida (the bad news ... for our community, anyway, not for her). Jackie has done so much for Carson City with her "Mozart" appearances, raising money for noteworthy causes and teaching children the joy of music, particularly Mozart. We will surely miss you, m'dear, and wish you all kinds of fun things in the "Sunshine State." (Just leave your forwarding address, so we can all visit you).

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Charley Kerfeld is coming to help WNCC raise money for its athletic programs. He will be speaking at the Peppermill in Reno on Wednesday, May 3, 6 p.m., at the Wildcats' benefit prime-rib dinner and auction. Charley, a CHS grad, pitched for the Houston Astros, Texas Rangers and Atlanta Braves, before going on to a managing career. He is currently with the Rangers as a special assistant to the general manager. Tickets are $75, or $500 for a table of eight. Call 445-3240 for reservations. Gee ... Maizie remembers Charley jumping on her beds when he was 7 ... good thing he grew up before she strangled him.

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DeeAnn Parsons tells us about "the man who asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday ... 'I'd like to be 6 again,' she said. Her birthday arrived ... he fixed her a bowl of Lucky Charms, then whisked her off to the Six Flags theme park. What a day! They rode every ride in the park ... the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster roller coaster ... everything there was. Five hours later, they staggered out of the park and went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. This was followed by a movie, M&M's, popcorn and soda pop. When they finally reeled into home, the husband asked, 'Well, dear, what was it like being 6 again?' Her eyes opened slowly, her expression changed, and she said, 'I meant my dress size, Pooky.' The moral of the story is: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong." Tsk, tsk, tsk.

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Are you feeling sad? Are you feeling depressed? Well, turn off those ditzy soap operas you watch every day ... you don't even KNOW these people ... they aren't REAL ... so why are you watching 'Sue cheating on Larry fathering Mary's baby whose auntie is carrying on with the plumber who loves the banker's wife?' Go to the cooking channel and learn how to cook ... or turn on the garden channel and plant seeds. Or VOLUNTEER somewhere. Anything's better than taking on imaginary people's problems. Believe us ... you'll feel better, and can probably get off Prozac. It's called ... GET A LIFE.

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When the JAC bus looks at its routes (whenever that is), we hope they'll have a stop at FISH. Some people who need the services offered there are the least likely to have transportation ... just a thought.

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The BAC Stage Kids will perform "Aladdin, Jr." May 12-21. Call the Brewery Arts Center at 883-1976 for times and admissions, and enjoy a wonderful trip back in time, with magic and mystery thrown in. The kids are always a delight.

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We just got back from Kansas yesterday ... Maizie, Carolyn and Terry Ward went to M's high school and college reunions in Leavenworth and Lawrence, respectively. Will tell you more about it next week.

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DeeAnn strikes again ... remember the grand old "Burma Shave" signs (for those of you who never saw them, they were signs along the highways in farmers' fields, giving "advice" and always advertising Burma Shave) ... "She kissed the hairbrush by mistake. She thought it was her husband, Jake. Burma Shave." "The midnight ride of Paul for beer, led to a warmer hemisphere. Burma Shave." And one more, "Passing school zone, take it slow. Let our little shavers grow. Burma Shave." The Care-bear says she "doesn't remember them." HA ... enjoy spring while we have it.

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.