It's that time of year where our seemingly chaotic lives will be flooded with lists and rankings. Songs of the year, movies of the year, events of the year, snack foods of the year, sexual positions of the year.
Oh sweet merciful heaven, the lists have arrived. How was I to know the importance of meaningless things before the invention of lists. All hail lists!
This year it begins with TV Land network's list of the 100 catch phrases in TV history. While the rankings won't be announced until a series of specials beginning Dec. 11, the nominees include several commercial slogans, political speeches and historic events but most come from television comedies.
Yet despite my sarcasm of lists, I devoted at least an hour to figuring out where I would rank each phrase and which ones were omitted. I admit up front my selections are biased based on my age and were selected based on how far " I believe " they are integrated into our cultural consciousness. I am not including any political speeches or historical events because I think they should be in a separate category. They were designed to be articulate and historic, unlike the others, which were just designed to be funny or catchy.
Without further ado, my top five:
1) "Here's Johnny!" (Ed McMahon, "The Tonight Show").
2) "Yabba dabba do!" (Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones").
3) "D'oh!" (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons").
4) "Holy (whatever), Batman!" (Robin, "Batman").
5) "Resistance is futile" (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation").
I could only find one glaring omission: "Let's hug it out, bitch" (Ari Gold, "Entourage").
The whole list, courtesy of The Associated Press, is below in alphabetical order.
" "Aaay" (Fonzie, "Happy Days")
" "And that's the way it is" (Walter Cronkite, "CBS Evening News")
" "Ask not what your country can do for you ..." (John F. Kennedy)
" "Baby, you're the greatest" (Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden, "The Honeymooners")
" "Bam!" (Emeril Lagasse, "Emeril Live")
" "Book 'em, Danno" (Steve McGarrett, "Hawaii Five-O")
" "Come on down!" (Johnny Olson, "The Price is Right")
" "Danger, Will Robinson" (Robot, "Lost in Space")
" "De plane! De plane!" (Tattoo, "Fantasy Island")
" "Denny Crane" (Denny Crane, "Boston Legal")
" "Do you believe in miracles?" (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics)
" "D'oh!" (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons")
" "Don't make me angry ..." (David Banner, "The Incredible Hulk")
" "Dyn-o-mite" (J.J., "Good Times")
" "Elizabeth, I'm coming!" (Fred Sanford, "Sanford and Son")
" "Gee, Mrs. Cleaver ..." (Eddie Haskell, "Leave it to Beaver")
" "God'll get you for that" (Maude, "Maude")
" "Good grief" (Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" specials)
" "Good night, and good luck" (Edward R. Murrow, "See It Now")
" "Good night, John Boy" ("The Waltons")
" "Have you no sense of decency?" (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)
" "Heh heh" (Beavis and Butt-head, "Beavis and Butthead")
" "Here it is, your moment of Zen" (Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show")
" "Here's Johnny!" (Ed McMahon, "The Tonight Show")
" "Hey now!" (Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show")
" "Hey hey hey!" (Dwayne Nelson, "What's Happening!!")
" "Hey hey hey!" (Fat Albert, "Fat Albert")
" "Holy (whatever), Batman!" (Robin, "Batman")
" "Holy crap!" (Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond")
" "Homey don't play that!" (Homey the Clown, "In Living Color")
" "How sweet it is!" (Jackie Gleason, "The Jackie Gleason Show")
" "How you doin'?" (Joey Tribbiani, "Friends")
" "I can't believe I ate the whole thing" (Alka Seltzer ad)
" "I know nothing!" (Sgt. Schultz, "Hogan's Heroes")
" "I love it when a plan comes together" (Hannibal, "The A-Team")
" "I want my MTV!" (MTV ad)
" "I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl ..." (Larry, "Newhart")
" "I'm not a crook ..." (Richard Nixon)
" "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" (Vicks Formula 44 ad)
" "I'm Rick James, bitch!" (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, "Chappelle's Show")
" "If it weren't for you meddling kids!" (Various villains, "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?")
" "Is that your final answer?" (Regis Philbin, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")
" "It keeps going and going and going ..." (Energizer Batteries ad)
" "It takes a licking ..." (Timex ad)
" "Jane, you ignorant slut" (Dan Aykroyd to Jane Curtin, "Saturday Night Live")
" "Just one more thing ..." (Columbo, "Columbo")
" "Let's be careful out there" (Sgt. Esterhaus, "Hill Street Blues")
" "Let's get ready to rumble!" (Michael Buffer, various sports events)
" "Live long and prosper" (Spock, "Star Trek")
" "Makin' whoopie" (Bob Eubanks, "The Newlywed Game")
" "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (Jan Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
" "Mom always liked you best" (Tommy Smothers, "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour")
" "Never assume ..." (Felix Unger, "The Odd Couple")
" "Nip it!" (Barney Fife, "The Andy Griffith Show")
" "No soup for you!" (The Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld")
" "Norm!" ("Cheers")
" "Now cut that out!" (Jack Benny, "The Jack Benny Program")
" "Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" (Stan and Kyle, "South Park")
" "Oh, my nose!" (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
" "One small step for man ..." (Neil Armstrong)
" "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" (Grey Poupon ad)
" "Read my lips: No new taxes!" (George H.W. Bush)
" "Resistance is futile" (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation")
" "Say good night, Gracie" (George Burns, "The Burns & Allen Show")
" "Schwing!" (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, "Saturday Night Live")
" "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy" (Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle)
" "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" (Trix cereal ad)
" "Smile, you're on 'Candid Camera"' ("Candid Camera")
" "Sock it to me" ("Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In")
" "Space, the final frontier ..." (Capt. Kirk, "Star Trek")
" "Stifle!" (Archie Bunker, "All in the Family")
" "Suit up!" (Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother")
" "Tastes great! Less filling!" (Miller Lite beer ad)
" "Tell me what you don't like about yourself" (Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy, "Nip/Tuck")
" "That's hot" (Paris Hilton, "The Simple Life")
" "The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat" (Jim McKay, "ABC's Wide World of Sports")
" "The tribe has spoken" (Jeff Probst, "Survivor")
" "The truth is out there" (Fox Mulder, "The X-Files")
" "This is the city ..." (Sgt. Joe Friday, "Dragnet")
" "Time to make the donuts" ("Dunkin' Donuts" ad)
" "Two thumbs up" (Siskel & Ebert, "Siskel & Ebert")
" "Up your nose with a rubber hose" (Vinnie Barbarino, "Welcome Back, Kotter")
" "We are two wild and crazy guys!" (Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd as Czech playboys, "Saturday Night Live")
" "Welcome to the O.C., bitch" (Luke, "The O.C.")
" "Well, isn't that special?" (Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, "Saturday Night Live")
" "We've got a really big show!" (Ed Sullivan, "The Ed Sullivan Show")
" "Whassup?" (Budweiser ad)
" "What you see is what you get!" (Geraldine, "The Flip Wilson Show")
" "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" (Arnold Drummond, "Diff'rent Strokes")
" "Where's the beef?" (Wendy's ad)
" "Who loves you, baby?" (Kojak, "Kojak")
" "Would you believe?" (Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart")
" "Yabba dabba do!" (Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones")
" "Yada, yada, yada" ("Seinfeld")
" "Yeah, that's the ticket" (Jon Lovitz as the pathological liar, "Saturday Night Live")
" "You eeeediot!" (Ren, "Ren & Stimpy")
" "You look mahvelous!" (Billy Crystal as Fernando, "Saturday Night Live")
" "You rang?" (Lurch, "The Addams Family")
" "You're fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")
" "You've got spunk ..." (Lou Grant, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show")
Disagree or think they missed one? Tell me about it.