One of the nice things about living in Northern Nevada is it's a place friends and relatives want to visit.
For those who like the outdoors, all I really need to do is drop a name or two of what's close by ... Lake Tahoe, Squaw Valley, the Sierra Nevada as a whole. History buffs would love Virginia City and all the other vestiges of the Old West in the region. And for those who just want to relax or have some indoor fun, I merely have to recount the opulence of some of our casinos.
But it occurs to me that if there were people whom I was less enthusiastic about hosting, I could tell some stories that might convince them to stay home. And I'd only have to stretch the truth a little bit.
I'm referring to stories about encounters with snakes, coyotes, bears, mountain lions and other creatures.
I could say, for example, "Sure, it's a great time to visit. We haven't had a coyote attack in months."
That refers to a headline from February that read "Minden woman attacked by coyote in driveway." And that's exactly what happened ... a coyote bit the woman in the abdomen, and she had to get rabies shots. Another story, from 2000, reported that seven people were bitten by coyotes in one summer in Stateline.
And there was this headline from 2000: "Authorities find coyotes tore apart body near Lake Wohlford." The story said the man had died of other causes and the coyotes only came along later, but I could strategically leave that part out of the conversation.
If necessary, I could take the coyote theme a step further and suggest to potential visitors that they leave their pets at home because they are a favorite food of the local coyote population. That's based on reliable sources who told me shortly after I moved here that I ought to be careful when walking my dog in the surrounding hills. Seems that some coyote packs have mastered the art of taking down dogs, even if the owner is just a stone's throw away.
Said one woman whose Pomeranian, Munchkin, was nabbed by a coyote: "They're so brazen. They're taking little animals off of leashes."
I could even say to callers, "I hope you like rap music ... I have to play it constantly to keep the coyotes out of the back yard." That is an actual tip that ran in this paper along with the coyote attack story (it said talk radio works well, too).
The opportunities to spread unreasonable fear aren't limited to coyotes. As I looked back in our newspaper archives, I found plenty of other fodder.
"Rabid foxes found in Washoe Valley" was a headline from 2002. "We see some rabies routinely in bats, but to see it in wildlife that run around ranches is a little disconcerting," said a veterinarian - a perfect quote because it also brings in the specter of rabid flying mammals.
There were stories about prowling mountain lions, one with this advice on encounters: "Definitely don't turn your back; remain facing the animal. Make yourself look as big as possible. If you have small children with you in the wilderness, keep them close to you. Sometimes a healthy adult lion will attack with no explanation; it's just the way they are."
And I haven't even touched on rattlesnakes, which were the focus of another early warning when I moved here. Apparently, if the coyotes don't get your dog, the snakes will.
Here, in the newspaper archive, I found another opportunity to combine two nasties ... fire and snakes. It seems that, after the Waterfall fire, the snakes converged on town because their habitat had been burned out. There's something biblical about that image.
But I have to say the story that has the most potential as a deterrent is the one from 2000 headlined, "Plague warning in effect for Tahoe Donner."
Apparently, this is a fairly common problem in the region, and it's carried by fleas on rodents.
Nobody told me when I applied for this job that there'd be a plague to deal with, but, I have to admit, that was a pretty good move on their part.
Seriously, none of these things are a real concern to me (although I do keep a close watch on my dog). I've spent many nights in country frequented by animals more dangerous than coyotes.
I'm just happy I haven't heard any horror stories about poisonous spiders.
I hate spiders.
• Barry Ginter is the editor of the Appeal. Contact him at bginter@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1221.