When I got home from work Tuesday night and turned on the TV, I got a queasy feeling from what I heard. It was one of those high-gloss celebrity-news TV shows, and the host was making a breathless announcement.
"Breaking news ... a fire is burning dangerously close to celebrity homes near Los Angeles ...," he said, promising to provide updates on the dire situation.
Who cares?
My silent "what's-become-of-our-society" rant went something like this: "There are so many people more worthy of our compassion, beginning with the firefighters putting their lives on the line while those celebrities take refuge at Caribbean retreats. There are millions of people who have it so much tougher ..."
So I turned the channel before heading to the kitchen, but I didn't fare much better. Different speaker, same queasy feeling.
This time it was a campaign commercial. I don't even recall which one, because since I've started paying attention, it occurs to me they're all pretty much the same script ... label yourself as the one true conservative, the only candidate who selflessly cares about your country while all the others are looking out for No. 1. Then insert unflattering photos of your opponent and, in machine-gun style, recite a shocking, unsourced litany of his misdeeds.
The ads go by so fast you're left with no actual facts, just a general impression to the effect of "Good-looking conservative candidate loves country, goofy-looking opponents working toward the fall of our great nation."
And, for me, that goes along with another general impression that I'm being sold a bill of goods. To actually fact-check the accusations in those hours upon hours of commercials would take a well-staffed government agency.
I'll join the general lament from voters and ask why they can't just list their specific views and votes on the important issues they would face if elected.
But I think I know the answer. It's not good TV. Publicists believe the best way to sell yourself as a candidate is to present it as a black-and-white issue - you're good, your opponent is bad, ignoring the reality that few things actually work that way and each candidate has many shades of gray.
I've got a modest proposal and, as a plus, it would be good TV. Let's use reality TV to take the true measure of our candidates. We could install cameras everywhere, in their offices, homes and cars, and find out who they really are.
It was long ago observed that a person's character is who he or she is when no one is looking. The hope here is they'd forget for a few precious moments that they were being watched, and we would get a glimpse of the real candidate.
We'd see how they treat their families, whether they know the names of their children's friends, whether they volunteer in school. Is there discipline, or do their children get everything they ask for?
We'd see how they react when they're stressed or bullied - do they have the courage to do what their values tell them is right, or do they go with the status quo because it's easier and more lucrative?
And we'd be able to see if they're hypocrites. If they say they're spiritual, do they attend church? What do they watch on TV? If they're tough on illegal immigration, who takes care of their yard? If they're fiscally conservative, are they living within their means or, like many Americans, piling up debt? We'd also get to test them against a long-held test of character - how they treat people who can't do them any good.
And, lastly, we'd get to see if they're people we like and trust, whom we'd invite to a barbecue or leave our kids with for a weekend.
Just a modest proposal. It has as much likelihood of happening as Jonathan Swift's original "A Modest Proposal" in 1729 (when he satirically proposed that Ireland's poor fatten up their children and sell them to rich Britons to hunt, thus solving overpopulation and unemployment problems).
In this case, we'd be willing to compromise. Just tell us, specifically, where you (not your opponent) stand on the issues. If we elect you, those will be the things we will hold you accountable for.
•••
Kathy Givens, who operates Aussie BC Rescue, has helped hundreds of dogs find homes in the past five years, but Trapper will always hold a special place.
Trapper, a 1-year-old border collie, spent two months in a small cage in a shelter before she brought him to her home in the Johnson Lane area, where she was going to get him ready to be adopted.
But the dog sensed freedom after all that time in a cage, jumped her back fence, and ran off into the adjacent BLM land. That was at the end of May. Despite a long search, she finally gave up, figuring Trapper had met his end.
At least until just days ago, when a friend spotted the exhausted dog and, working with the local shelter, they were able to trap him.
Givens took Trapper home, opened the car door, and sat down nearby. The dog hopped out of the car and stared at her. He sat down and shook her hand when she gave the commands, things he must have been taught by a former owner.
That made her cry, thinking of how Trapper had gone from a home to a shelter to months alone in the wild and now back here to her garage.
Givens wonders how Trapper survived, but surmises the dog ate what it could find, including quail and rabbits.
A dog groomer, Susan Richards, donated her services to groom Trapper and remove the foxtails from his coat, and Givens is sure she'll find a good home for him.
But she knows he is a lucky dog. Many unwanted pets that get dropped in the desert do not survive. Several times, she's taken puppies that were found in boxes dumped in the desert but found before it was too late.
For more information on her organization and other dogs available for adoption, visit the Web site www.aussiebcrescue.com.
• Barry Ginter is the editor of the Appeal. Contact him at bginter@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1221.