When you mention Charley Kerfeld, pick up a road map and turn on Johnny Cash's song "I've Been Everywhere, Man."
"That pretty much covers it," said Kerfeld via cell phone Tuesday. "I just flew in Tuesday to see my folks (in Carson). Then I'm going home (to Seattle) to see my wife for a few days and then it's back on the road. During baseball season I'm home maybe five to eight days a month. I spend most of my time living in a suitcase."
Of course Kerfeld meant he was living out of - not in - a suitcase, but don't put it past the colorful 6-foot-7 former pitcher for the Houston Astros and Atlanta Braves to give it a try.
Now 42, the 1981 Carson High School graduate was known as a free spirit in the majors, one who wore his lucky Jetsons T-shirt underneath his uniform, donned a Conehead get-up to celebrate the Astros' 1986 division pennant and demanded that 37 cases of orange Jell-O be added to his contract.
"Basically that was the year when we wore those idiot orange rainbow jerseys," Kerfeld said. "I was No. 37. The general manager had the money and was screwing guys over. I wanted to get something in return. I said, 'You know what, at the end of the contract put $110 and 37 cases of orange Jell-O.'"
Kerfeld said he got every ounce of pleasure out of those 37 cases of Jell-O - and none of it had to do with eating.
"Most of what we did with it is unprintable," Kerfeld said. "(Teammate) Larry Anderson and I had a little fun with it. The toilet got smashed with Jell-O, different things. We hit reporters with it, TV guys, teammates and some front office folks. At the time I was 23. I was a little bit zany, to say the least.
"In Major League Baseball some guys somehow got too serious and forgot that it's just a game. Guys like Dave Smith and I had a little bit of fun. I had more pranks played on me than I did them. But I was a very quick study. I put that Carson High education to work."
Kerfeld was the keynote speaker Wednesday at the Western Nevada Community College benefit for Wildcats baseball, women's soccer and co-ed rodeo at the Peppermill Hotel-Casino.
"For me, it's an honor," said Kerfeld of the benefit. "(WNCC vice president) Helaine Jesse called me. Her little brother (Kirk) is still one of my better friends. I said, 'Do me a favor. Get me home and back to Seattle and it's a fair deal.' I have a lot of friends here.
"I went to juco (at Yavapai Community College, in Prescott, Ariz.). (WNCC) is a great thing for the northern part of the state. The southern part has had (a community college) for six or seven years. You can turn it into a place for the Matt Williamses, Charley Kerfelds, Bob Aryaults and other (Carson athletes who made it to the Major Leagues). It's a chance to go on to a Division I or Division II college and get their education paid for and go out in the world a little bit and have the chance we guys have had."
Kerfeld finished his career with an 18-9 record, with 10 saves. He was fourth in 1986 Rookie of the Year votes, ahead of such players as Barry Bonds, Will Clark and Andres Galarraga, going 11-2 (with a 2.59 earned run average) from the mound.
A first-round pick in the secondary phase of the draft, Kerfeld played only the better part of three years in the minors before being called up to Houston. He was traded to Atlanta in 1989 for outfielder Kevin Dean and pitcher Lee Johnson.
A series of eight surgeries - including three on his shoulder, four on his knee and one on his ankle - ended his playing career in 1990, but his journeys were just beginning.
In picking up 421 wins as a manager, Kerfeld managed such independent teams as the Beaumont (Texas) Bullfrogs, Abilene Prairie Dogs, Gray Harbor Gulls, Western Warriors, Reno Blackjacks and Chico Heat and has a Western Baseball League championship (2002) to his credit.
"I also played (minor league ball) in Columbus, Ga., Ashville, N.C., Tucson, Ariz. I've been to London, Ontario, Canada, Richmond, Va., Culiacan, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Venezuela, Columbia and Amsterdam," Kerfeld said. "I'm going to Japan this summer, Australia, Korea - I hit the whole world looking for players.
"I live out of a suitcase six months out of the year. I'm going to retire, I hope, in 20-25 years. Twenty-six more years and I'll have 50 years in baseball. I'll be 68 years old. Certain people are made for it, certain aren't. It's not always easy on your family. You have to have an understanding wife."
Kerfeld also served as a scout for the Seattle Mariners and San Diego Padres before accepting a position as the special assistant to the general manager of the Texas Rangers. Based in Seattle, Kerfeld travels to scout the Mariners, Dodgers, Rockies and Padres.
And Kerfeld isn't closing the door on what may be a future position for him.
"Who knows, maybe G.M., if it sounds right," Kerfeld said. "It wasn't until last year that I started looking around. I've been the No. 1 pick, a top player, a star, a star failure, an independent manager, a scout...I look at some GMs and they don't have half the experience I have. I don't have a degree from a big-time college, but I have a 25-year degree in baseball. It might be where my future lies.
"I asked myself, Why not? I'm doing all the little things I need to do if it comes around. What it amounts to is running a Fortune 500 company. I definitely have an interest in it. You never know. It's about timing, people liking you, the right place, the right time, right?"
Kerfeld said he's enjoyed his short visit back to his old stomping grounds.
"I went to a Little League game, saw an old friend of mine and relaxed a bit," Kerfeld said. "I went to Governor's Field. I had a lot of memories. As a kid I'd ride my bike there nightly, whether I played or not.
"Carson was a great place to grow up. Everybody knew everybody. It's a good city to be a kid in. I come here two, three times a year to see my folks. As we get older our lives change and we go in different directions. It's always good to go home."
Kerfeld said he got to share an interesting observation with an old teacher of his, whom he saw at one of the Little League games.
Kerfeld said he has three acres of property in Seattle, where he also does some salmon fishing in his spare time.
"There's always plenty of stuff to do," Kerfeld said. "My honey-do list never goes away."
At least not until its time to play like Willie Nelson and get "on the road again."