Time to panic. Yes, that dreaded swimsuit time has rolled around again. Eventually warm weather will appear, and I'll bet you can't remember where you stashed last year's swimsuit. Maybe you burned it?
So, how much excess hangs out of that suit? How much can you tuck into your suit and still walk? I'm not picking on the ladies, how about you, guys? Is there any "leftover" belly around that Speedo? Does your swimsuit go around your belly, or under it?
Here in Carson City, we have the advantage of two cool months, April and May, to "suck it in" and "take it off" before the swimming pools open. If you lived somewhere in the southern part of the West, you'd already be in trouble!
Have you looked at the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue? Many of your husbands have. Tack one of those pictures to the refrigerator, and let's go, ladies!
Where's that 1,200-calorie diet? What happened to your jogging shoes? Blow the dust off that bicycle. Now or never, you just about have time to cure it all.
However, first you have to try on your swimsuit. Painful as it is, you have to know which parts need work. And you have to work on the whole body, or the wrong parts will still hang out.
Main areas for reconstruction will be those wings under your arms, the waist that isn't there and, of course, the thighs that meet when you walk.
Forget the tape measure, the bath scale and the calorie counter. If you want real results, exercise, cut your food intake, and try on your swimsuit every day until it looks as wonderful on you as it did when you bought it.
Two months of work and sweat isn't much to be able to accept an invitation to a swimming pool party. You'll be able to smile and maybe even attend with confidence.
• Jerry Vance is owner of The Sweat Shop/Wet Sweat. She offers classes through Carson City Recreation and Aquatics Center and is a fitness instructor for the Carson City Senior Citizens Center.