Good reasons to get jazzed up this weekend

Flys and mosquitos ... why? Has anybody figured out what they're good for other than to annoy us and distribute awful diseases? Apparently, the God of Pests and Other Scratchy Things has ordained that we're to be bothered just to be bothered. Too bad the God of Nice Things doesn't have precedence ... whack ... there goes another fly off to Nirvana.

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Judie Hartwick "says" she has her husband Lee's permission to tell on him ... he was driving her crazy when he first retired, bumping into her and not having a hobby. She shunt him out to the garage, but he kept coming back in and banging the door, still driving her crazy. She said, 'You don't stay out very long. You need something more interesting so that you aren't coming in and out all the time.' He listened patiently, and went and stayed out for a couple of hours. When he came in, she guessed he must have finally found something interesting to do. He looked at her with a forlorn expression, and said, 'I did. I was out there so long, I had to pull my own finger twice.' (Judie said Jerry Allred would like this one). Fifty-one years together and a great sense of humor. Not bad at all.

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Jim Connelly was concerned that we forgot Sr. Marie's birthday on July 5. Not so, Jim. It was in our July 3 column. But thanks for caring. Happy birthdays this week to Brian Whalen Jr., and Terry Ward ... both are older than dirt (draw evil grin in here ____ ). Congratulations to Carol Davis on her retirement after 30 years at NDOT. You made it! Yeaaaaah!

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The skies have been really smoky the last couple of days, due to fires in California. Let's hope it clears out before the upcoming Beer Tasting and Jazz Weekend at the Brewery Arts Center this weekend. The beer tasting starts at 6 p.m. ($20) on Friday, and the jazz is free all weekend. Watta deal. Call 883-1976 for details. Food is available, and you'll have lots of fun. Bring money.

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Cathy Robinson sends us this word of warning, or "the truth" about all those conflicting medical studies: "1) the Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans; 2) the Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans; 3) the Chinese drink very little red wine and yattida, yattida, yattida; 4) the Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and so forth and so on; 5) the Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and SFHATA. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you." Well, there go our English as a Second Language classes out the window.

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Neat story: Carolyn's daughter, Suzie Lequerica, a nurse in the labor and delivery section of CTRMC, had the distinct pleasure of helping deliver her cousin's new baby boy, Parker McClain Schmid, this week. He joins a brother and sister and proud parents, Christi and Rudy. What a joy. And, because of a good epidural by Dr. Pete Lusich, Christi literally laughed the baby out as Dr. Amy Hayes walked in the door. Suzie may try out for the football team now as a wide receiver.

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Thirty local artists will be showing their work at the Greenhouse Garden Center's "Art at the Greenhouse" this Saturday from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. Admittance is free, but the CHS Band Boosters will have hot dogs, snacks and soft drinks for sale. What with some classical and jazz piano going on, it should be a delightful event. Also, from 6-8 p.m., the Alzheimer's Association will be hosting "A Taste to Remember," a "casually elegant wine tasting" at the Governor's Mansion. Wine, hors d'oeuvres, classical music, and a silent auction will complete the evening. It will benefit the Capitol City Memory Walk; $25 in advance or $30 at the gate (883-0703). Don't forget ... be sure and go (don't groan).

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Great good news: Lora McComb just graduated from college in New York and has been accepted as an intern at Juilliard in the fall. Hopefully we will see her name in lights as a director soon. Her brother, David, a CHS senior, hopes to go into video production when he graduates. Talented family.

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Maizie was invited to a Fulstone Family Reunion last weekend in Genoa. About 200 assorted relatives showed up to meet each other for fun and frivolity. She figures they'll be looking at the pictures later on and wondering "who's that person in the third row?" Norma Jean Hesse put it all together beautifully, and Kenny Furlong is having palpitations realizing M and he are distant cousins. Too bad, Kenny. You can choose your friends, but not your relatives. Neener, neener. A fun time.

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Thanks to Don Rudin at Mallard's for being so nice; we're super glad Steve Wassner is feeling better after surgery; and Jeanne Ramirez has invited us to tour her new store, In Good Taste (the old Heiss's restaurant) at 107 E. Telegraph. Jocie Truesdell is also a new entrepreneur at Able Bodies Personal Training Center and Sports Nutrition. Reach her at 450-4700 for location and details. The Children's Museum is holding its annual Kids Karnival on Saturday from 10 a.m. until 3 p.m. Games, prizes, food, special guests and surprises for the entire family. 884-2226 for details.

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We were told "privately" that a certain friend of ours was out driving and came to an intersection where she gently "goosed" the car in front of her. She spilled her coffee, said a few choice words, and got out of the car to see the damage. Fortunately, there was none, but the gentleman in the car ahead was a dwarf, and, as he surveyed the scene, stated, "I am NOT happy." Without missing a beat (or thinking a thought), she asked, "Well, which one are you then?" (yes, she will be in hell with us). While we "think" this may have come off the Internet, it made it much more interesting to think it actually happened here. One of our local wags thinks, "If not Happy, then Grumpy?" Boo ... hiss.

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse can be reached by e-mail at carolynandmaizie@yahoo.com.