A diet suggestion for New Year's day

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The first day of 2008. May it be a great year for all of you. May your resolutions succeed and come true. May we get a free trip to Disneyworld (oh wait ... we're dreaming again). Practically speaking, may life get better for you each and every day. At least, work on it. And eat some black-eyed peas, Hoppin' John, or pork and sauerkraut (they're all supposed to bring luck in the new year if you don't get gaseous ... whew).

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Awful lot of people were busy in Marches past, 'cuz lots of people are having birthdays in January: Helen Banovich, John Ascuaga, Judy Lowther, Carl Dahlen, Kealohi Fuller, Dylan Clinger and TJ Olson, Jessi Winchester and her husband, Mike. Let's hope they're happy ones. And best wishes to Angela Law and Peter Dach, and Julieta Chavez's daughter, on their weddings. Also, a belated happy anniversary to the Hautekeet's on 22 years of wedded bliss. Celebrate all!

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In this loving and charming vein, Connie Lord sent us the following: "For those of you interested in expanding your foreign languages, here's how to say 'I love you' in English - I Love You; Spanish - Te Amo; French - Je T'aime; German - Ich Liebe Dich; Japanese - Ai Shite Imasu; Italian - Ti Amo; Chinese - Wo Ai Ni; Swedish - Jag Alskar; and in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, West Virginia, Kentucky and parts of Florida - nice butt, get in the truck."

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WNC is putting on its annual "Wildcats Athletics Benefit" at the Peppermill Hotel & Casino in Reno on Friday, Jan. 18 from 6-10 p.m. The cost is $100 per person, or $700 for a table of eight. It will feature a three-course prime rib dinner with hosted beer and wine (you're on your own for cocktails). There also will be a live auction and raffle. Special guest and speaker will be Mark Kotsay, center fielder for the Oakland Athletics. Mark was the 1995 college player of the year, and MVP for the College World Series that year. Our own Darrell Rasner, of the New York Yankees, will be there, as will his cousin, Jake Rasner of the Chicago White Sox, Jake McGee of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and WNC's own Cole Rohrbough of the Atlanta Braves. For information and reservations, call 445-3240. A great time will be had by all.

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The Emblem Club (aka "the Lady Elks") will be holding its annual scholarship fundraiser bowling tournament on Jan. 27 at the Gold Dust West at 1 p.m. Everyone's invited to come down and bowl. For details, call Karen Ferreira at 883-9041, and "have a ball."

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It's interesting how radicals bend their religious beliefs to include mayhem and murder, rationalized by their "love of God." Osama bin Laden has come out this week advocating "blood for blood" and "destruction for destruction," thus continuing his rant to conquer the infidels (anyone who doesn't go along with his way of thinking). Mohammed's followers split almost immediately after his death in 632 A.D. (the Shiite's followed his grandson, Husein, and the Sunni's followed Ali, his son-in-law), however, they all pray five times a day and worship one God. They believe the Koran is the word of the Prophet Mohammed, think of Christ as a prophet and affirm the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. Osama bin Laden, and those of his ilk, turn their views of Islam to the radical and deadly forms we see today. We forget that there was a Renaissance in Islam in the 9th, 10th and 11th centuries, when they led the world in art, poetry, philosophy, mathematics, medicine and architecture (from "Life" magazine). Then came the Crusades (all three major religions want Jerusalem as their own), and the "wars in the name of God" continued on. This is nothing new ... we just haven't learned. So it begs to be asked, why can't religions show their good and best sides and ask mankind to choose from that, instead of forcing their views with "blood and destruction?" Seems we, and God, would be a lot happier.

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Beware of "Nevada Firefighters" groups calling you lately. They do NOT represent our firefighters here in Carson City (per a call to the department). Two different groups have been calling, one generic, the other to "help the families of downed firefighters." Both are bogus and use about 85 percent of their money for administrative costs (i.e. paying the telemarketers). Don't fall for this. Give any money you wish to donate to our fire department directly. Then, and only then, will it all get to them.

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If you're easily offended, skip the following joke sent in by Molly Sanders, entitled "the best Smart Ass answer of 2007." "A college teacher reminded her class of its final exam, saying she wouldn't tolerate any excuses for not being there to take it. She said she 'might' consider nuclear war, serious personal injury or a death in the immediate family, but nothing else. A smart-ass in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if I came in and said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class laughed and snickered, but clammed up when the teacher said, 'Well, I guess you'd just have to write the exam with your other hand.'" Tch, tch, tch.

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Mallard's at Empire Ranch is holding an "Ohio State vs. LSU" party for the BCS Championship on Monday, Jan. 7 at 5 p.m. with a fried chicken dinner buffet (yum). Kids are welcome. Call 885-1019 for information and reservations. They also will have a Super Bowl party in February, so reserve that one, too.

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Ken Fraser sent us these pearls to live by: Victor Borge said, "Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." W.C. Fields said, "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." Eeeew. Then, "The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out" ... Anon. Thanks, Ken, and again, "Happy New Year everyone."

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.