Some advice for candidates; anopportunity to support the troops

ARE YOU OUR "LEADER"? Or are you just another political action committee kiss-up, or a hands-in-pocket confidante of special- interest groups? This question, for ALL Democratic and Republican candidates, was "cleaned up" by the columnists, who really wanted to use other, more definitive words. So, thus said, "Welcome to Carson City, Democratic presidential candidates (in order of appearance): Sen. Dodd, Sen. Clinton, Gov. Vilsack, Sen. Edwards, Gov. Richardson, Sen. Biden, Congressman Kucinich, and Gov. Gravel."

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What many of us in Nevada are looking for is a strong candidate (Democrat or Republican) who has a cogent plan to get us out of Iraq, a policy to regain our status in the world, and strategies to nail down terrorism, crime, health care, immigration, the economy, etc., without pandering to every Tom, Dick or Harry who wants their boots licked. Don't skew everything to what the audience "wants to hear." Where's Jesse Ventura when you need him? By the way, you can see the forum live on C-SPAN tomorrow at noon.

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Ahhhh, it's time for the Poetry Corner. This was the 2004 second-place winner, by MHJ, in "The Edge" poetry competition in The (Portland) Oregonian." It still rings true today.

"Was George the First

really the worst?

Or is it Double 'U'?

In fact, I think,

I'll raise a stink

and say it's Number 2."

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Good news: Jerry Massad (of The Crackerbox fame), and Jackie Behn, have bought the Old Corner Bar in Dayton and are turning it into a new dinner house. That should be a goody to go to, as long as they don't hire one of the former cooks who liked to drink a lot and would forget to turn the baked potatoes over while cooking on the grill. Carl Dahlen and M found out where the term "half-baked" comes from.

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Liz Mitchell sent us a good one: "A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart."

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Danielle Conway has become well enough to start her chemotherapy (isn't is something when you have to be "well enough" to have chemo? But, we're glad she's doing better). And Proscenium Players will be performing "The Fix" (the musical currently at the BAC) at 2 p.m. Sunday, as a benefit for her. Please call 883-1976 for details. It's for ADULTS only, because of language and content.

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Al Nicholson, one of our readers, is back in the hospital AGAIN. Did we tell you, Al, that you DO NOT have to support the economy of the hospital on your own? So stop it, already. Vern Manke retired last week, and his family - wife Carol, daughters Laura, Lisa and Margie - put on a lovely party for him at the Nugget. He had a lovely day, and a good time was had by all. Brian Harris celebrated his ONE year of being a Kiwanis member last week, but was upstaged by Dr. Tom Gibbons, who celebrated his 33rd year in the club. Congratulations. And to Brian ... only 32 more to go. And the terrific Carson City Symphony Concert, with guest guitarist Ana Vidovic, will be performing Sunday at the Community Center at 3 p.m. For further information, call 883-4154.

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Saturday, the Eagles Hall on E. 5th St. will host a "Support the Troops" party to raise funds for a care package for the National Guard's cavalry unit's third tour in Iraq. There's a no-host bar, plenty of food and music by "Stunt Double," from 6-10 p.m. $5 per person, or $10 per family. Kids are welcome.

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Tomorrow at noon, the Division of Child and Family Services is holding a meeting for people who might provide foster homes for children who have been neglected or abused. It will be held in the conference room of the Nevada State Library and Archives, 100 N. Stewart St. For more information on this very worthwhile project, call Tawnya Blair at 687-4943, ext. 262. The children can use your help.

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Terry Beauchamp swears by this one: "Father Jerry walks into a local pub and asks the first three men he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' They all say, 'I do, Father.' 'Then stand over against that wall.' Then he walks up to Seamus O'Toole and asks, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole looks at him and replies, 'No, I don't.' Father J is aghast. 'You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' 'Oh,' says O'Toole, 'when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'"

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Kim at Zephyr Cove Lodge says that a lot of people are being laid off around Lake Tahoe because of "no snow, no tourism." Go up for lunch or dinner and help them out.

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And DeeAnn Parsons sent us this: "Joe died, and his will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the guests were departing, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend and said, 'I think Joe would be pleased.' 'I'm sure you're right,' replied Alice, 'but what did this really cost?' '$30,000.' Alice looked at her and said, 'Well, dear, I know it was nice, but $30,000?' Helen answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone.' Alice quickly computed, '$22,500 for a memorial stone? How big is it?' 'Two and a half carats.'"

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Remember, it's the Year of the Boar ... Gung hei fat choi!

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.