All the King's men for 2007

With the book on boxing in 2006 now closed, we open up the 2007 tome to its opening chapter: the state of the heavyweight division.

For those with an affinity for fantasy - think Harry Potter - Saturday's rematch between Samuel Peter and James Toney bodes well for a knockout year of exciting matchups in boxing's flagship division.

For those whose tastes are a bit more existential - think Camus or Sartre - Peter-Toney II represents the beginning of more of the same in the heavyweight ranks, another tedious exercise in futility and predictability in a division afloat in mediocrity.

The boxing fan who takes delight in the milieu of Dune or the Lord of the Rings is sure to buy into the hype that the winner of Peter-Toney II will be taking the first step in a magical ascension up the division's beanstalk to that mystical realm known as the Land of the Undisputed Champion.

The cynic/realist who chooses to muse on "The Stranger" or "Being and Nothingness" will be more inclined to believe the rematch is absurd; that there's really no purpose in contemplating the bout itself, much less about whom the winner - if there is one - gets to fight; that everyone is promoted or co-promoted or involved somehow with promoter Don King and that "Rocky Balboa" will win an Oscar before the division gets one true champion.

You most likely already have a feeling for whether the glass is half-full or half-empty when it comes to the ultimate meaning of Peter-Toney II (which will be televised on Showtime), but here's a quick look at the heavyweight landscape anyway.

With his surprising victory over Peter, followed by his annihilation of Chris Byrd and subsequent destruction of undefeated American Calvin Brock, IBF beltholder Wladimir Klitschko, 47-3 with 42 knockouts, of Ukraine, has established himself as the heavyweight division's premier fighter.

Oleg Maskaev, 34-5 (26), of Kazakhstan, brutally beat down Hasim Rahman to win the WBC crown in 2006 and defended it with a decision over unknown Peter Okhello to establish himself as the second-best heavyweight out there today.

Klitschko wanted to unify with Maskaev, but between an elbow injury to Maskaev and the ever-present sanctioning bodies - not to mention King - that isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Klitschko must face towering-but-ordinary Ray Austin next and Maskaev gets the winner of Peter-Toney II - if Klitschko and Maskaev want to keep their belts, that is.

Then again, there are many among us that rightfully believe a true champion doesn't need to wear one of the sanctioning body's trinkets. He just needs to fight the best competition out there.

Which wouldn't be Nicolay Valuev, the WBA beltholder. The 7-foot, 330-pound Valuev, 45-0 (33), has taken the path of least resistance to his lofty perch.

With a little help from King, Valuev earned a title shot against ordinary John Ruiz by meeting only token opposition - Attila Levin, Clifford Etienne and Larry Donald (whom he squeaked by with a majority decision).

Valuev, of Russia, defeated Ruiz via controversial majority decision before being spoon-fed two opponents who had as much business getting title shots as Rocky Balboa - Owen "What the Heck" Beck and Monte "Two Gunz" Barrett.

With King beating the drums that Valuev is closing in on Rocky Marciano's hallowed heavyweight record of 49-0, we should be left wondering "What the heck" indeed as King will further pad his fighter's record on Jan. 20 with Jameel McCline.

The bout will take place in the fight capital of the world - Basel, Switzerland. Not a bad location, really, in case a miracle happens and you want to make sure a questionable decision against McCline doesn't get too much media attention.

Not that it should, considering the kind of competition McCline faced in "earning" his title shot: Terry Smith, Marcus Rhodes, Rob Calloway, Marcus McGee, Dan Ward and Andy Sample.

And even though he goes 6-6 and 270 pounds, the surprisingly squeamish McCline will look like a joystick compared to the lumbering Valuev.

Last on our heavyweight highlight reel is WBO titlist Shannon "The Cannon" Briggs, 46-4-1 (42), who was last seen sucking air like a clogged vacuum as he scored a miracle comeback KO over then beltholder Sergei Liakhovich (also spelled Serguei Lyakhovich).

The stoppage came at literally the last second - 2 minutes, 59 seconds of Round 12 - as the muscle-bound Briggs knocked Liakhovich clean out of the ring following a knockdown.

Briggs, who broke the stranglehold boxers from the former Soviet Union had on the heavyweight division, will defend his strap against Russian Sultan Ibragimov, 19-0-1 (16).

It should be noted that Ibragimov earned his shot with a draw against Austin in the pair's last fight. And King owns, co-owns or is involved with Toney, Austin, Briggs and Valuev, among others.

What remains to be answered is, if King does not have a vested interest in the WBC, WBA, IBF and WBO, how is it possible that he virtually owns the division? And if that is indeed the case, why would anyone but a believer in fantasy think there will ever be one unified champion and that 2007 will somehow be different?

Which brings us to Peter-Toney II and what should be different about this fight.

The only thing different about this meeting is that the right fighter will get the decision this time. That fighter will be Toney, who was too slick for Peter the first time but somehow lost the decision.

You can't teach speed, so Peter won't be able to take full advantage of his power. Peter is also too stubborn to lose the weight to gain at least a little more speed and combination punching.

Toney will be in better shape this time and will move a little more, avoid a few of Peter's rabbit punches and be in the condition to land a few more of his own combinations, taking a fairly wide unanimous decision.

And coincidentally, all the King's men will remain in the hunt for all four of the sanctioning bodies' belts.

Of course Klitschko and Maskaev could tell King and the Alphabet Boys to go to hell. They could face each other for The Ring magazine belt on HBO and the winner would have full recognition from right-thinking fans.

But that scenario requires one to fantasize. And the existentialist in me is already asking, "What's the use?" Some things never change and 2007 should bring us more of the same: Alphabet Boys, lousy decisions, lousier matchups, King and all the King's men.

Nothing will put boxing back together again.