A driver gets just desserts, and life is good

THERE IS A GOD! Maizie was driving south on Roop St. and had stopped behind about four cars at the red light at the E. Williams St. intersection. In the left turn lane were three cars and a motorcycle. When the light turned green, the second car in the left turn lane decided the first car wasn't turning fast enough and cut into the right hand lane then swerved back across the "slow" car and turned left onto Highway 50 E. Lo and behold, the "motorcycle" turned on his red and blue flashing lights, and went after the idiot in the blue car, thus proving there IS a God. YES, YES, YES!!!

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In the spirit of the above, DeeAnn Parsons has sent us some good quotes from cops: "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" "You don't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." And finally, our personal fave, "The answer to this last question will determine whether you're drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

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Good stuff: The Schellin-Scharo insurance office on the NE corner of Roop and Long is looking good after extensive remodeling; Margaret Hardeman just received her bachelor's degree in interior design with a 4.0 average ... excellent! Dr. and Mrs. Nick Anastassatos just returned from their honeymoon in Mexico ... congratulations and best wishes; thanks to the nice lady in El Charro who was so complimentary to us. We really appreciate it. And great good wishes to Carolyn's daughter Kim Johnston and Aaron Brown on their engagement.

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Ron Saunders posed this question he found on the Internet: "Like a lot of folks, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes those taxes as it sees fit. In order to get my paycheck, I must take and pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem. Where I do have a problem is with the distribution of my taxes to someone who sits on their butt all day. Shouldn't they have to take a urine test, too, to get a check? And if they don't pass the test, think of the money we'd save." Fair's fair.

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Andy Harvey found this one: "An old Indian Chief sat on a log on the reservation eyeing two government men sent to interview him. 'Chief Two Eagles,' asked one, 'You've observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress and the damage he's done. Considering this, where did the white man go wrong?' The Chief stared at the men for a couple of minutes, then answered, 'When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night making love.' Then the Chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'"

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Up and coming things: Mike Curcio will be starring at the Gold Hill lecture series tonight. Call 847-0111 for details. He plays a great Wyatt Earp. On Friday, there's an air show at the Minden Airport, with fly-ins, a pancake breakfast, and lots of other stuff. Goes throughout the weekend. 782-9871 for details. "Joey and Maria's Comedy Italian Wedding" is on for one more weekend at the Plaza Event's Center (887-0438 for tickets). Dinner and lots of interactive fun. And McAvoy Layne will be performing on Saturday at the Brewery Arts Center Performance Hall at 7 p.m. Tickets are $25 and will benefit the Soroptimist's charities. If you've never seen Mac do "Mark Twain," you're in for a real treat. If you have, you still are. He's the best. Call 883-2211 for info, and bring extra money to buy some great picnic gift baskets.

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The mayor and town council of Delcambre, La., have banned saggy trousers stating, "If you expose your private parts, you'll get a fine." And maybe six months in jail. Underwear is also a "forbidden exposure." The mayor further told the Associated Press, "They're better off taking the pants off and just wearing a dress." Maybe a kilt?

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Charlie Johnston said he overheard a woman extolling the virtues of QVC. "I just love watching QVC," she said, "there are NO commercials." Hmmmm? Whose gift bow is missing a ribbon here?

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Panithias Grill (formerly Juicy's on N. Carson St.) is sponsoring a pancake breakfast Saturday for the Carson High Blue Thunder Marching Band from 8:30-11 a.m. $6 adults; $3 children. The band will entertain, and the funds raised will help them travel to Disneyland. Call 883-5600 or 884-3755 for information. What a fun thing.

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Carson Magazine, put out it's current issue on the "arts" in Carson City, and not once, not ONCE, did they mention Proscenium Players, Inc. in their story. Are we ticked? Yes. PPI has been in this community for over 40 years presenting funny, tragic, and impressive plays to the area during that time. The BAC, Carson Symphony and WNCC musicals were mentioned in one line by Joe McCarthy, but PPI, zilch. What they did cover was interesting, but completely leaving out one of the most important groups in the area ... pffft. There, we've vented.

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We saw Lisa and Jerry Allred Saturday ... they're looking great, as usual. And we're going to have lunch with Tyrell Swapp today. He's moving to California. So, farewell, Tyrell, may your dreams come true. By the way, Ryan Schmid will become a teenager this week. Norma Conway will not. Happy Birthday to both.

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Lucy Adams garnered these quotes from famous people: "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain. "I enclose two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend ... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill. "Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second ... if there is one." - Churchill to Shaw, in response.

Have a great week.

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at carolynandmaizie@yahoo.com