News, humor and gossip to chew on over Thanksgiving

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! "May your stuffing be tasty and your turkey plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize. May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!"... Anon.

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Republican presidential candidate Congressman Ron Paul will be at the Nugget tonight at 7 p.m. to speak to the people of Carson City. It's a great opportunity to meet the candidate who has become the "Internet" phenomenon (he raised more than $5 million there in one day ... an unheard of feat), who has many different ideas than some of the "mainstream" candidates. Call 841-3231 for details.

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Speaking of presidential candidates, Democratic Senator Joe Biden, had one of the best quotes of the campaign so far. When asked about Republican Rudy Guiliani's campaign, he said it could be best described as "Noun ... verb ... 9/11."

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The Capital Christian Center, 1600 Snyder in Carson City, is holding a "Cost of One Shoe" boutique on Monday, Nov. 26 at 6 p.m. You are all invited for a cup of coffee and a cookie to come and purchase many beautiful handmade crafts to benefit the Kenya Kid's Orphanage in Nairobi. When asked, the children, many of whom have special needs, requested new shoes, so each item for sale will be the price of "one shoe," or a multiple of $12.50. Many of the children have been left to die in the streets, and this orphanage has taken them in and cares for them through adulthood. They would be thrilled and appreciative if you would come to the Christmas Cafe and Boutique and support this worthy cause. If you have questions, please call Brenda at 883-3355.

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Father Chuck Durante (may we skip going to hell, please ... Connie Lord is responsible, but blame Maizie) was just inducted as the new pastor of St. Teresa's after being transferred from Reno. Yesterday, he walked to the window to take a deep breath of the beautiful day outside when he noticed a jackass was lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the police station and the watch commander said, 'Good morning. This is Sgt. Jones. How might I help you?' 'Good morning, Sergeant. This is Father Chuck at St. Teresa's. There's a dead jackass on my front lawn and would you be so kind as to send someone over to remove it?' Sgt. Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a grin, 'Well now, Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites.' Father Chuck, not to be outdone, replied, 'That's certainly true, Sergeant, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.'"

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Lots of news: The City Cafe Bakery is now under the new ownership of Roberta and Ed Rosario, formerly of Spokane, Wash. And our favorite baker, Byron Morgan, is back baking for them ... same good food as always. The Carson City Library is holding its "Food for Fines" program (887-2244 for details) ... any overdue book can be returned with a non-perishable food donation, no questions asked, otherwise known as "book amnesty." He's baaaaaack ... T. J. Saputra has returned to The Basil after a week in Reno ... and we're glad! Devon Wirtz wants to know why Viet Pho closed ... unfortunately we haven't been able to find out ... anyone? And Happy Birthday's to Pete Lusich, Terry Beauchamp and Pat Yeager ... the cake's on Carolyn.

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Condolences go out to Craig Amadon on the loss of his Uncle Bob. And we're glad Capt. P. K. O'Neill had the safety on his gun when three people allegedly tried to kill him last week. Brave man. As the gun was pointed at his head, he said he thought of his wife, Nancy ... then he thought of Carolyn and how he was going to miss arguing with her (yeah, right ... that last part was a pipe dream). Nevertheless, the three were caught, are in jail, and he's doing well. Thank God for that.

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The trains are running Friday and Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Nevada State Railroad Museum, so go and have a fun ride. Also there is "Turkey Bowling" at Bully's tomorrow night at 8 p.m. on N. Carson St. First come, first served ... and it's free (884-2309). Don't fall for a scam by an unsanctioned publication called the "2008 Academic Calendar" offering advertising for WNC - there's no connection between the college and this firm.

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Shellie Schrader gave us this Thanksgiving tale: "A mother went to her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner knowing how gullible she was. She told the daughter she needed some more things from the store, and, after the daughter left, she pulled out the stuffing in the turkey, put a small Cornish hen inside, restuffed the bird and went on as if nothing had happened. When it was time for dinner, the daughter began to pull the stuffing out of the turkey when she came upon the small bird. Her mother, feigning horror, said, 'Oh, heavens ... you've cooked a pregnant turkey.' At the reality of this horrifying news, the daughter started to sob. It took nearly two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep, she's blonde."

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It was nice to see Kay Winters, and Evelyn and Scott Mattheus at the Gold Canyon Steak House at brunch in Dayton on Sunday. Good food, and a super nice and cute busgirl, Heather Miemi, who was very attentive to everyone. And a fond farewell to the Bawamia family. They're on their way to Chicago and we'll miss them.

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"High School Musical," a Wild Horse Theater production, will open Friday, Nov. 30 at 7 p.m. at the Children's Museum (887-0438 for dates and prices). This is the well known Disney musical, and it will be a treat to see our young local thespian's perform in it. We also found out that Carson's own Tristi Ann McMaster Robinson, and her husband, Norvell Robinson, will be performing in the "Nutcracker" beginning Friday at 7 p.m. at the Community Center (call 884-4603 for tickets and dates). Welcome home.

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Again, Happy Thanksgiving! And don't forget to thank all those who are kind, loving and protective of you...including our service men and women. Thank You!

• To reach Maizie Harris Jesse or Carolyn Tate, e-mail carolynandmaizie@yahoo.com.