It's time to come clean.
There is something that I haven't been entirely honest with you loyal readers about and I feel it is time to remedy the situation.
OK, here goes. Deep breath and here we go. OK Jarid, just rip off the Band-Aid. Quick like a cat. Bam.
KateandIarelivingtogether.
Yep, it's true. I just couldn't live with the lies and the deceit anymore.
I gotta say, living with a girl is an experience like no other. I have learned a whole lot about just oodles of things " most of them relating to how I don't know the correct procedure for certain activities.
Lots and lots of activities.
I find myself saying, "I'm sorry. I was mistaken and will correct my behavior in the future," a lot.
But I can honestly say it has been an educational experience.
Like, for example, I learned that Kate and my definitions of clean are different. I realized this the other day when I forgot to do laundry and ran out of boxers.
Not a problem " I just reach into the hamper, pull out a slightly less clean pair and proceed to put them on.
Kate's reaction was akin to me running over a family member with my car.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"Sometimes you are just disgusting," she replied.
To further illustrate my point that they weren't that bad, I pulled her into a bear hug and began gyrating motions " just for fun.
I learned "we" don't joke about personal hygiene.
"I'm sorry. I was mistaken and will correct my behavior in the future."
Also, I learned that Kate and I have very different tastes in reading materials.
I subscribe to "Time" magazine for the news, "Esquire" for the pop culture and "Playboy" " for the articles.
Kate is exclusively devoted to "People" magazine and occasionally "US Weekly" if there is dirt on a celebrity she likes.
I made the mistake last week of reading her magazine and expecting it to be like mine.
What I learned is that apparently Justin and Jessica "make it work" by not being clingy and also that Jessica (the other one) is mad that Tony didn't stand up for her.
I admit it " I was slightly interested. I mean, "People" is just like "Playboy" but with less, um, articles.
But, that experience led to another lesson: Apparently, "we" don't turn the pages on the magazines that are placed in the bathrooms.
Ever.
Why? Because "we" read them from cover to cover and don't flip through them "willy-nilly," so when someone moves the page, it screws up the order.
"I'm sorry. I was mistaken and will correct my behavior in the future."
I have also learned that "we" don't use tissues and then throw them in the toilet and "we" don't use toilet paper, or paper towels, to blow our nose.
Shoes go in the closet, coats go on the hook and underwear is clothing, not a toy.
To be honest, she is the most laid-back, forgiving girl I have ever met and she makes co-habitating as painless as possible. She even comforted me when my officially licensed Nebraska Cornhuskers clock fell off the wall.
Seven times.
Weird though, it always happened when I was in the bathroom.
Ever co-habitated? Tell me about it.
- Jarid Shipley is the Features Editor for the Nevada Appeal. Contact him at 881-1217.