Songs in the Key of Me: I'm going to sleep on your floor

Sometimes I fall asleep in places where I'm not supposed to, but I don't think this situation is my fault.

It is my choice to fall asleep in places outside my bed, but I have not forced anyone to judge people like me and limit the number of acceptable sleeping areas in this country.

Sometimes I fall asleep on the floor, couches, the car or outside. At my last job, I often almost fell asleep in a business meeting and had to bite my lip to stay awake.

I don't think it was the pain that kept me awake, but the act of concentration. The pain just agitated me, like I was going to bed during the middle of the summer in a house without air conditioning.

The other week, I fell asleep briefly in a coffee shop because it was really hot and really quiet and I was really tired.

I realized I was asleep only as I was falling down onto the table so I whipped my body up straight up as fast as I could. I didn't see anyone look at me, but I think everyone heard the clamor because I cleared my throat and pretended to go back to reading a newspaper that I couldn't concentrate on because I had just woken up.

For reasons that don't affect me, a lot of pharmaceutical companies advertise sleeping pills. I, however, would never wake up if I took any of those.

I get tired even if I don't do anything all day, but I blame American society for that.

My American family and friends often feel bad for me after I have sat in a car or airplane for several hours on my way to visit them. When I get there, they encourage me to relax.

I don't fight this sympathy because I am lazy and I do feel tired when I go on long trips, even though it is learned behavior.

Coffee, I think, helps me wake up in the morning, but I'm not even sure about that because it doesn't stop me from immediately falling asleep at night.

People, however, love to joke around slyly about coffee, like drinking it is something to be gotten away with.

"Oh-oh," one business friend might say to another business friend, "going back for a second cup of Java already? I better steer clear of this guy, huh?"

No you shouldn't, but you should watch out for people like me. People who love America enough to sleep on its and everyone else's floors.

- Contact reporter Dave Frank at dfrank@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1212. His column, "Songs in Key of Me," appears Thursdays.