Milton Glick, president of the University of Nevada, Reno, fears the marching band might have to "go" next year because of the budget cuts. We have a better idea. Why not the whole athletic department? Then they wouldn't need the band, because there'd be nothing to play for, and they'd save beau coup money by not frittering it away on non-essentials, such as football, basketball, baseball, etc. Gee ... we didn't even have to be brain surgeons to see this one coming.
---
We are sad to inform you that one of the Bozo the clown portrayers, Larry Harmon, died at the age of 83. He was, however, not the original Bozo ... Vince "Pinto" Colvig, a former clown with Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus, and a Disney voice-over actor, was the original Bozo. He is honored at the Bozo Museum in Jacksonville, Oreg., where it says he was a reporter for the Carson City Appeal in 1905. So, we're not just clowning around when we report this serious news.
---
Scotty Ruff sent us some differences between men and women he found on the Internet: "If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately call each other Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Four-eyes." "Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night." (ouch) "Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children, their dental appointments, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."
---
NBC will be covering the Olympics this year. Let's hope they do better than they've done on the Olympic trials. We've had one hour of swimming a night (and that's on USA), and only one hour of track and field (a week and a half ago), period. P***-poor coverage if you ask us.
---
It's FIRE SEASON, if you haven't already gotten the clue from smoky skies. Do not, under any circumstance, fool around with fire. California is a prime example, and we're just as dry. Help our firefighters by being aware and careful. We don't want the problems California is having.
---
Congratulations to Penny Silver, NDOT training director, who is retiring July 18. She will then be going to Yantai, China, to teach there ... a lifelong dream of hers. Quite a wonderful goal. Happy Birthdays to Carolyn's "boyfriend," James Vierno, who will turn 93 this week (and is a great hugger); Sister Marie McGloin and Kati Sherwood, who are each enjoying neat trips; and Happy 45th Anniversary to Elaine and Bruce Smith ("and they said it wouldn't last"). And our deepest sympathy to the families of Howard Barrett, Lois Brady, Sr., Bernice DeMar, Scott Rowan and Margaret Faverty, on the loss of their loved ones."
---
Well, the campaign signs are beginning to bloom on our lawns. By the way, these are our opinion of the "signs," not the candidates. Richard Staub's are the easiest to read ... patriotic, too. Caren Jenkins' are the best looking and most creative; whoever told Bob Crowell and Jim Wilson that 'gray' was a good color for a sign, ought to be shot; and the rest are just so-so ... you can read them, but they're not anything to shout about. And, just think, more to come. Whoopee.
---
More children's interpretations of the Bible (sent to us off the Internet): "Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines." "St. John, the Blacksmith, dropped water on his head." "Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony." "The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him." And, "The Jews were a proud people, but throughout history they had problems with unsympathetic genitals."
---
What's going on with the new Boy's and Girl's Club? Or is it pulling an Ormsby House thing? IMWTK.
---
So, are you buying the "coincidence" that John McCain was in Columbia just at the same time the hostages were rescued? Right. The Bush/Cheney/McCain PR boys were on top of that one.
---
D'Vine Wine is having a "blind wine tasting (for the first 20 who reserve a spot ... 882-7766)" tomorrow night. You do not have to be blind to be in it. Two softball teams, the High Sierra Diamonds and the Nevada Wildcats, won their respective divisions in tournaments last week. Congratulations to all the girls, and good luck at nationals. The BAC will begin its summer stock performances of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)" and "Smokey Joe's Cafe" beginning July 24 ... call 883-1976 for times and details. On Aug. 6, St. Teresa's Church will be the site of Life Line Screening (1-800-679-5192), a series of four tests that check for arterial blockages and osteoporosis. The tests cost $129, and you must make an appointment. Also coming to Carson City is Railway Reflections, a major art show featuring all kinds of art and food functions at the Nevada State Library Gallery from July 17 through Aug. 17. Call 687-7410, the CC Convention and Visitors' Bureau, for details and times.
---
For those of you who were upset, as we were, at the contract given to France for the American tanker, instead of Boeing, the Air Force finally agreed that it should be rebid. Representative Todd Tiahrt of Kansas, and our Congressman Dean Heller, have campaigned and pressed for this ever since the original contract was sent to France, overlooking the American workers. The Government Accountability Office says that the Air Force now has 60 days to respond to their recommendations. Please contact Congressman Tiahrt's or Heller's office, if you want this contract to go to an American company. Thanks.
---
Nina Bailey sent us this one from a magazine: "One Sunday, a pastor noticed a young boy standing in front of a plaque in church that was covered with small American flags on either side of it. The pastor walked up to the young man and said, 'Good morning, son.' 'Good morning, pastor. What's this?' 'Well, son, it's a plaque dedicated to all the young men and women who died in the service.' The young boy looked at it for a while, then fearfully asked the pastor, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'"
Carolyn and Maizie can be reached at editor@nevadaappeal.com