Friends, colleagues roast Mayor Marv

Justice of the Peace John Tatro said Friday he had waited a long time for former three-term Mayor Marv Teixeira to leave office.

"He's kind of like that piece of gum stuck to your shoe," Tatro said. "You can't get rid of him."

That started the Carson City Rotary Club charity benefit roast of the longest-serving city mayor, who retired earlier this month.

Tatro, who hosted the roast, and other speakers, went on to make fun of Teixeira's dog, wife, politics, personality, appearance and drunken driving arrest.

Supervisor Shelly Aldean read her "Ode to Marv Teixeira" poem, describing the 74-year-old former IBM salesman as "a Portuguee as old as dirt with an ornery attitude" before joking about his drinking, impatience, love of the V&T Railway tourist rain project and the underused Pony Express Pavilion he pushed forward.

Teixeira is the "poster boy for term limits" with a past more notorious than "ladies in Mound House," said Len Semas, publisher of the conservative local newsletter Sierra Sage.

Milan Trensit, a former city schools official, was the most popular speaker with the crowd.

"I never knew he drank until one day I saw him sober," Trensit said.

He went on to make fun of Teixeira as stubborn, cheap, stupid and too lazy to work to lose weight at the gym.

"He dropped his jock strap to the floor and his stomach was still in it," Trensit said.

Helaine Jesse, a Western Nevada Collage vice president, sang along to "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" after making fun of Teixeira's swearing and projects.

"If we had a dollar for everytime Marv said the f-word, not only would the Boys and Girls Club have been built, there would have been a swimming pool and a teen center," she said.

Teixeira got a standing ovation before speaking last to give his rebuttal. He responded to all the speakers, taking the hardest hits at Sheriff Kenny Furlong, who brought out a large picture of Teixeira's mug shot, and Semas.

"I wouldn't want to say he's having a slow love life," Teixeira said of Semas, "but he's the only one I know who has a gold card from (brothel owner) Dennis Hof."

He also called again for the city to allow new Mayor Bob Crowell to have his pet pig back that had to be given away under city code.

Teixeira pardoned the pig, Arnold, this week as his last act as mayor, but the district attorney's office said a mayor does not have the power to do that.

He ended by thanking the city for the chance to be mayor and pointing out people he used to coach in youth sports.

"Sincerely," Teixeira said, "this has been a ball."

- Contact reporter Dave Frank at dfrank@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1212.