Rules for living the good life

In late 2007 I began writing a memoir. I planned to have it published, and circulate the publication to a small circle of family and friends for Christmas of 2008. I published the memoir, entitled Paslovian Tales, and sent it to family members and friends as planned.

I thought the project was important because I am the senior member of my family and still remember early family events. I also encouraged the readers of the memoir to write his or her own family story. I believe family history is important. The readers said they would write their histories.

I have lived a long time; I wanted to share with my brother and sisters, my children and grandchildren the few rules I learned during my life, all acquired the hard way and some not fully mastered. But I still try. Like most children, mine were not particularly impressed with the "rules." They claimed they already knew the gist; and besides the rules were too long to be practical in their everyday, complicated lives. Perhaps. But I thought I heard the "rules" quoted during the holidays!

I've included the rules in abbreviated form. As we begin the second full week of the new year, readers may find them useful:

1. Work hard and treat those around you with dignity and respect.

2. Don't complain.

3. Don't whine. (My friend Cindy tells me I break rule No. 3 all the time!)

4. Take initiatives that will be helpful to you and those about you.

5. If you feel stress, move your mind into "neutral." Think about those things that give you pleasure. Stress will dissolve, making life easier for you and those around you.

6. Approach all problems with civility and good manners; but make certain that your associates don't mistake your pleasantness for being weak.

7. Don't use anger as a first response to solve a problem. It's generally ineffective, and if you harbor it too long it's destructive to you. If you must get angry, use it as a last resort and then let it go.

8. Learn as much as possible about both work and life. Whatever your work know it better than anyone else, and let others discover you are knowledgeable. Don't tell them.

9. Your reputation is critical. Protect it.

10. Have high expectations for yourself and all those for whom you have responsibility. Hold yourself and others to those high expectations.

11. Don't be afraid to take risks, but calculate the possibilities of both success and failure.

12. Read poetry as much as possible. The best of it makes life comprehensible. Read prose as much as possible for information, knowledge, and pleasure.

I encourage you, too, to write about your families and community. Your families will appreciate it and you will discover "rules" that shape and give meaning to your lives as well. Happy New Year.

- Dr. Eugene T. Paslov is a former state superintendent of schools in Nevada. He is a school board member for Silver State Charter High School in Carson City and the Davidson academy in Reno.