Grief flows in and out of happiness and God is in it all

All around us, people are in pain. People have emotional pain, physical pain, relational and spiritual pain. Whatever the source of the pain, it all feels the same.

Even those who are genuine believers in Jesus Christ walk through pain, grief and suffering. Many people have been nursing their wounds for so long they cannot remember what it is like to be anything else but sad. David Biebel in his book "If God is so good, why do I hurt so bad?" says that "pain is the place where we meet each other in humanity and even meet with God."

When believers encounter suffering, grief and pain in their life, they end up having to face the fact that sometimes life is agony and our loving God is still in control. Sometimes He does not feel loving to us in the midst of grief and we come and face the words of Job: "How then can I dispute with him? How can I argue with him? Though I were innocent, I could not understand him? I could only plead with my judge for mercy. Even if I summoned him and he responded, I do not believe he would give me a hearing. He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason."

Christians know that God loves them but why does it seem that when grief and suffering come upon us, that fact is sometimes questioned?

C.S. Lewis put it this way in "A Grief Observed": "Why is He so present a commander in our time of prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble?"

"When grief, suffering and pain comes upon the believer there is not so much a danger in ceasing to believe God but the danger comes to the believer who might say such dreadful things about Him."

My wife and I are journeying through our second season of grief in one year - we can identify somewhat with C.S. Lewis. I wonder how many out there in Carson City are walking through suffering, grief and pain?

The music group Casting Crowns wrote a great song that might communicate to some in pain - one line touches me: "And every tear I've cried. You hold in your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in the storm."

I remember the day I brought my grandson home from the funeral home and handed him to my son and daughter-in-law and they walked up the steps to his nursery and placed his urn in the crib. I remember the day when my son reached down and placed his son in the grave. "And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in the storm."

How is it possible to praise God in a storm in your life that seems so unfair? How is it possible to praise God in storm after storm? When you know the creator of the storm, when you know the silence behind the storm you can come through the storm. Isaiah 40:31 "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Do you place your faith in having no storms in life or is your faith in the creator of storms?

When you walk through life without real faith, then you are only left with fate. When the storm comes, you might rage, protest and do everything in your power to protest your complaint, but the time will come when you have to stop beating your head against a brick wall. Get on with life and accept it.

If you have a faith relationship with God, then your journey ought to be different. Faith makes the journey of grief and suffering personal. As I write this, my family is in the midst of a second journey of pain. We hear of many around us suffering. We hear of many grieving.

Many say, "what can I say." There is really nothing to say. Just your presence says you care. So if you are walking through grief and suffering, let others in. Let others know. They will say, "how are you feeling and how are you doing?" You can tell them you are OK. They just want to fix it and do something. But you know it cannot be fixed.

There is a Russian proverb that says, "A sense that in life grief flows continuously in and out of happiness, and happiness in and out of grief."

• Ben Fleming is pastor of Silver Hills Community Church, 1066 Mallory Way, Carson City.