Happiness is said to be the Holy Grail of psychology. After all, most people seeking therapy, reading self-help books, and watching Dr. Phil are nearly all searching for ways to be happier. In the last decade, millions of dollars have been spent researching fundamental questions about happiness.
The burning question is always: What makes people happy? To find the answer, researchers like the father and son team of Drs. Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener compare those who are happy versus those who aren't. Three variables are consistently present in the lives of happy people.
The first is having close friends and family with whom you can share your difficulties, feelings and dreams. The wider and deeper these relationships, the better off people are.
Question: What is the meaning of life? Answer: Meaning. And, this is the second most important variable present in the lives of happy people: a belief in something bigger than you. This can be religion, spirituality, or a philosophy of life that gives you meaning to understand life and your place in the world.
Third is having goals that are embedded in your long-term values. And, it's not just having goals but actively working on them. For some people, this may mean finding a job where you are helping others. For those who don't enjoy their work, this may mean volunteering at the animal shelter if animal welfare is important to you.
These three life variables are so crucial, researchers believe, that without them you are unlikely to be happy. So, if you are looking for ways to feel happier, this is a good place to start.
It isn't just having these things in your life though, it's appreciating them. Those who regularly pay attention to the gifts in their life, and who are grateful for what they have, are happier.
Take, for example, two men working in the same hospital. The first man is a janitor. When asked about his work, he explains that he has the most important job in the hospital, "If someone slips and falls, they could die. And, keeping the hospital clean saves lives, too," he explains. The second man is the CEO. When asked, the CEO complains, "Some people live and some die; the insurance companies have ruined everything, there is little I can do." The CEO makes approximately $100,000 more a year than the janitor. Guess who is happier?
My next column will explore practical ways that you can implement some of the lifestyle changes mentioned above. I will also discuss the most recent research about ways to increase happiness whether you are already happy or not.
• Lisa Keating, Ph.D., is a Carson City clinical psychologist.