The alarm shrills loudly next to my bed. I groggily check to see what time it was forgetting what time I'd set the alarm for.
The clock read 4 a.m., and I just groaned. What in god's name am I doing getting up this early to play a round of golf?
This just wasn't any round of golf. This was the Divine 9 Tour, a chance to break some bread with media types and play what will amount to a 12-hour round of golf.
The Divine 9 refers to the nine courses in the Carson Valley - Carson Valley Golf Club, Dayton, Eagle Valley East and West, Empire Ranch, Genoa Lakes and the Genoa Lakes Resort Course, Silver Oak and Sunridge. The group plays two selected holes at each of the nine courses. It amounted to a par-74 course with just three par-4 holes over the course of the day.
After hitting the snooze button once, I eventually get into the shower, got dressed and head to the Carson Valley Inn for a quick breakfast with my fellow competitors. Some of the faces are familiar and some are not. Only three of us are local - myself plus Garrett Dearborn and Paul Nelson, both of whom from Channel 2. Two other players - Ted Johnson and Dennis Miller - I worked with when I wrote sports in the Bay Area.
When I arrived at the CVI, I see tournament host Phil Weidinger busily putting water, beer and some vitamin drinks into a big cooler which occupies two seats on the Genoa Lakes van.
After breakfast people start putting their clubs into the van and finding a seat for the short trip over to Genoa Lakes. We're supposed to leave at 7 a.m., but Miller is nowhere to be found. He finally shows up at 7:05 to a Bronx cheer from the rest of the van.
"Trust me, you guys didn't want me to be on time," Miller quipped. Miller goes on to tell me that I couldn't make par if I set the ball by the green. Hmm, I sense a challenge.
At 7:25, we pulled into the parking lot at the Genoa Lakes course. We're playing the 466-yard par-5 17th and the 354-yard par-4 18th. Not exactly the holes you want to see when you're barely awake. We split into two groups and make our way to the holes.
One thing you have to understand about this group is that there are people who love to taunt, tease and generally get under your skin. Most of it is done in a good natured way.
It's why I usually try to be first or second off the tee before people get settled and warm up their vocal chords.
I scrambled up to the tee on No. 17, and surprisingly enough hit a driver down the middle. A hybrid and 7-iron later, I'm on the green in regulation. I two putt and start with a par. It was one of only four on the day, unfortunately. On No. 18, I chunked two shots in the fairway and end up with a double-bogey 7. A so-so start.
We board the van, and at 8:18 a.m., Weidinger, known as "Dinger," officially declares the bar open. The lost ball count is at 5 after one course.
The Resort Course at Genoa Lakes has never been kind to me, and that day was no exception. We start on the par-3 8th which plays about 145 yards. My tee shot is well right but only a few yards short of the green. As I tend to do, I chipped over the green which led to a double-bogey. I tripled the next hole, and I was just glad to get out of there. Lost balls is up to 11. Dinger hit the highlight shot of the day when he chipped in for an eagle.
Miller, I was happy to say, didn't even finish three of the four holes at Genoa.
We ventured to Empire Ranch, and were served mimosas behind the first tee. The par-5 No. 1 on the Blue nine and the par-3 5th were the holes of choice. Dinger has a habit of asking for par-3s that either go over water or are heavily bunkered. I started on No. 5 and smacked a 5 hybrid about 25 feet from the hole. The greens were pretty bumpy, but I managed to two-putt for my second par. I went back to my normal game on No. 1 screwing up two shots and turning the easy par-5 into a double-bogey.
The only solace I could take is that we were going to Dayton next, my home course, one I play a couple of times per week. We were early to the course, a rarity on the D-9 Tour. We were met by J.J. and Kara Player, who had margaritas, chips and salsa and taquitos, and that was before we hit a shot.
Our group played No. 6, a tough par-3 over water. I hit a nice shot, but landed in the green-side bunker. Blasted out and two-putted for an acceptable bogey. On No. 7, the only hole I played from the white tees all day, I reached the green in two and two-putted for my third par of the day.
We moved on to Eagle Valley, and disaster struck again. We played the par-5 5th and the par-4 6th. A bad tee shot, I may have hit it a whole 100 yards, led to a double-bogey on the par-5. On No. 6, the toughest hole on the course, I did manage a bogey.
After a quick lunch, we headed to the West course for some more torture. We started on the par-5 517-yard 3rd, a hole that should be outlawed. You have to clear two barrancas, one on your tee shot and one on your third shot. I cleared the first, but hit short twice and finally reached the green in four. Three putts later and I had a double-bogey. Wait, that should be my nickname for the rest of the day.
Oh yeah, we're up to 33 lost balls. Thus far there has been one eagle and four birdies.
It's 2:30 p.m. and we've played 12 holes in seven hours. Dinger points out that we're ahead of schedule, and if we'd had one more foursome that wouldn't be the case. Beer is flowing freely by now.
At Silver Oak, we play No. 2, a par-3, and No. 18, a par-5. A bad chip on No. 2 and a bad drive on No. 18 lead to a double-bogey and bogey, respectively.
Next up is Sunridge. We play No. 5, a 150-yard par-3 over water, and No. 6, a 506-yard par-5. Dinger and I lead the group out to No. 5, and he decides that all 11 golfers will play in one group. Since I'm there first, I jump up and hit a 5 hybrid to the back of the green and eventually two-putted for my final par.
Several golfers follow my lead. Up steps Dearborn, who already has a strike against him because he has a golf bag with a Washington State logo on it. Dearborn is a sarcastic sort much of the time. As Dearborn stands at the tee, 80-year-old Don Thompson starts vigorously washing his ball. Dearborn responds with one of the worst golf shots in history. The ball almost went sideways, but he did clear the water. He teed up another and put it in the water.
Dearborn hit two more in the water, The other 10 golfers lined up right behind the flag, figuring it was the safest place to be. Thankfully, he finally picked up.
A bad second shot on No. 6 led to a bogey. I should have been ticked because I wasn't playing well, but all I could think of was finishing up and having some dinner.
After a brief stop at the Genoa Bar where we saw Raquel Welch's bra hanging on a pair of antlers, we arrived at our final destination, Carson Valley Golf Club in Gardnerville.
Carts were waiting for us near the 14th tee, which in itself is one of the more interesting holes in the area. It's a short par-4 of about 325 yards. What makes it interesting is the huge tree in the middle of the fairway. You either hit a low liner or hit over the tree. I chose to go over and was inside the 150-yard marker. I was so busy patting myself on the back that I pulled my second shot into a tree. Fortunately it dropped straight down. I chipped on and two-putted for a bogey. We played the par-5 15th and I carded another bogey despite missing the green with my third shot. I chipped on and two-putted at 7:15 p.m.
Thank god, it was over. Now it was time for some great Basque food at the Country Club restaurant that is adjacent to the golf course. After a great meal I headed back to my house in Dayton, arriving at nearly 10 p.m.
The most fun is getting reacquainted with old friends. It's hard, though, to take the golf too serious because we're on such a tight time schedule.
The only thing I will say is that I beat three other players and broke 100 in the process.