Thanks... but no thanks! - How to decline a job offer with class

One candidate just never responded to the job offer, and the no-response was eventually a no. Another declined through a text message.

"I've dealt with these issues and others at every level," says Dan Ehrling, president of Accounts One, a 40-year-old recruiting firm in Atlanta. "They're all the way up and down the board, from rookie staff accountant to CFO."

Every jobseeker looks forward to being chosen for hire. But when it comes to job offers, sometimes saying No to the wrong position is even harder than hearing No for the right one, no matter how long an individual is in the workplace.

"[Sometimes] individuals feel guilty turning down an offer, and they should not feel any guilt," says Kevin Monahan, associate director of the Notre Dame Career Center. "As long as the declining of the offer is handled professionally, each side can move on with no regrets."

First, take a step back. Before making the decision to decline, jobseekers need to fully consider an offer, particularly in the current job environment.

"I stress with clients that they must look deeply into every job offer made in today's market, because they are different from what we have seen in the past five years," Ehrling says. "The rules have changed. For instance, the sign-on bonus just doesn't exist. Don't be offended by that. It doesn't have to do with the candidate, it has to do with the market."

If the position still seems wrong, that's okay. Even in a tough job market there are a number of appropriate reasons to decline an offer. Monahan says oft-cited reasons include accepting another offer, personal reasons, unwillingness or inability to relocate or not being comfortable with the company's culture. An unhappy employee isn't beneficial for the company or the individual.

"I often suggest the jobseeker put himself or herself in the shoes of the hiring manager. Would they want to hire a candidate who was not excited about joining the firm? It's better to be honest with yourself and the employer," he says.

Once the decision is made, a clear and respectful reply is essential. Don't prolong taking action, which is rude and frustrating for a hiring manager.

"Again, I say always consider how you wish to be treated in the job process," Monahan says. "Most jobseekers feel frustrated when they don't hear from an employer about that status of their candidacy. With that in mind, don't delay in delivering your decline until the last possible day."

Also try to avoid leaning on today's technology to ease the blow. E-mail, Ehrling says, is too susceptible to misinterpretation and lacks personal relationship development. Instead, pick up the phone for a real conversation - and keep it simple, which means not sharing details for the decline.

"It's so important not to burn bridges," he says. "We suggest a simple dialogue or face-to-face just stating that at this point the job isn't right, while staying away from specifics. Then thank everyone who was involved by writing a few follow-up notes expressing you appreciate their time.

Sometimes sticky situations arise when job seekers end up with two offers... and the preferred one came second. Monahan cautions that jobseekers should never deliberately continue interviewing once accepting a position. If the offer comes from a company they interviewed with before accepting a position, Ehrling says technically individuals can back out of the first company if they haven't started working. However, it must be done frankly and professionally through an honest - but still simple - conversation.

"The biggest mistake jobseekers make is to downplay the level of communication that it takes to effectively decline an offer," Ehrling says. "I think people are afraid to be honest and straightforward, but you must be because you're marking the world with your brand - who you are, your level of ethics, how you present yourself," Ehrling says. "Career building is not just that next job, it's all the relationships that you can build across or throughout your career."