The sci-fi-western-thriller "Cowboys & Aliens," currently showing at the Fandango Galaxy multiplex in Carson City, finally achieves what most studios have long sought: a film with five writers, much of whose script is simply explosions. Yep, meaningless explosions leavened by some actors and horses. Not to mention Harrison Ford as Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde and Daniel Craig as the brooding visage designed to make the film make sense. Doesn't quite succeed, but that didn't seem to matter to the packed house at a recent 2:15 p.m. Friday matinee.
The film starts with Jake finding himself lost in the desert with no memory and a funny sci-fi cuff on his wrist. He runs into three horsemen who prepare to shoot him, but he takes them down, dons one body's boots and pistol and rides off on his horse to Absolution, a New Mexico town that doesn't welcome strangers (from the looks of the place, strangers might be just what is needed to shake things up).
Jake is witness to the bully Percy Dolarhyde (Paul Dano) harassing Doc (Sam Rockwell) and finally steps in. Percy is taken in by the sheriff, as is Jake because he is an alleged bank robber. The Colonel arrives with his hired hands and stops the sheriff from sending the pair to the U.S. Marshal.
Then mysterious lights appear over the mountains and weird aircraft appear, shooting up things and taking some citizens by ropes off to who knows where.
Much plot comes now as the Colonel teams up with Jake and his outlaw gang to rescue the roped citizens. They then team up with the local Apache to right the wrongs. Neat twist here: The Native Americans join the whites to repel invaders.
Then there's Ella Swenson (Olivia Wilde), who totes a six-shooter over her long dress and eventually becomes the savior of it all, rising from the dead when her body is tossed on a campfire and she magically rises and solidifies. In the nude, of course, but Jake is there with a handy blanket to spare us the trauma of total nudity.
Eventually the super posse finds that alien spaceship, which is about the size of the Empire State Building, and by planting a bomb riles the aliens, which are sort of big spiders with bodies that open to reveal a pair of hands. The aliens jump around a lot but between the Apache arrows and posse six-guns, they are no match for the good guys. Eventually the spaceship lifts off but explodes in early flight.
Well, there's some backstory involving Jake and his wife in a wrecked cabin, but it doesn't add anything.
Craig is tough even when being beat up, and Ford is the old pro here. Sam Rockwell is the tenderfoot who learns how to fire a gun.
This is a summer movie and isn't expected to be literate or make sense, but there is fun here, particularly when Jake jumps from his horse onto an attacking small spacecraft and sends it into a lake (homage to many such scenes from oaters of the past). Actually, much of the film exists as references to the Hollywood past, just about the only solid footing around.
Go, ye, and enjoy a muddle of past, present and who-knows future. You won't be enlightened but you probably will be amused. And regret the blanket that Jake wields so deftly.