Sheltered children have a meal while mom works on homework in an Advocates safe house Thursday in Carson City.
End Domestic Violence. “If people don’t know that there are those other resources in town that they can go to. It’s easier to get help on this end than when you cross the line.”
One place for families to go is Partnership Carson City. On its website, Partnership offers a list of local places to go for local services from legal services to get out of a domestic relationship, to utilities payment help, to education services.
“Domestic violence is hard because our clients don’t want to talk about it even though we know it is happening,” said Omar Anaya, executive director for the United Latino Community. The ULC is a branch of Partnership Carson City who helps the Latino community and Anaya said the ULC sees a lot of domestic problems with its clients because of its cultural ideals.
He said in the Latino community, marriage is a forever bond, so it’s difficult for clients to get help with domestic violence because they are taught and pressured to stay in the marriage no matter what.
“Our clients want the information (on how to help themselves from domestic violence) but they don’t want to share,” Anaya said.
The ULC helps its client base by helping provide additional resources and referrals for services in Carson City. The ULC has an on-site counselor who helps victims get through the process of reporting and finding legal and financial help.
“Sometimes they just don’t know what to do to get out of that situation,” Anaya said. “So we say ‘here is the information you need’ and we can help. Whatever information they need we do our best to help and if we can’t we will find out where you can call for help.”
The Ron Wood Family Resource Center also is a beneficial referral service for struggling families.
The center offers a host of resources from parenting classes to after school programs to a free food bank for families. It also offers family counseling, help with housing and energy and resource referrals.
“We offer support services and referrals,” said Joyce Buckingham, executive director for the Ron Wood Center. “We are good at bringing together a family unit and find out what their needs are to help them.”
Buckingham said the services are good for domestic victims, because like the ULC, if the center isn’t able to provide the specific resources to help a family, it has the services to help find other resources in Carson City.
“Say you get sent to us first and if we don’t do it under our roof, we know who can,” Buckingham said. “Finding out what the family feels their needs are and working to get them back on track.”
She said the center is a good resource because it can treat and react to situations in an urgent manner.
“People in crisis need to be seen right then and we are timely to help immediately,” Buckingham said. “It is a safe zone and there is no judgment.”
However, not all domestic incidents end with the help of family resources. For victims dealing with long-term domestic abuse, they can turn to the Advocates to End Domestic Violence shelter for a place to try to get away from their abuser.
“What we usually see here are women who don’t have any options, their family isn’t available or together enough to help them or they have burnt that bridge, and they don’t have any financial resources so you don’t usually end up in a shelter if you have any other resources,” Lee said.
Domestic violence shelters didn’t start until the late 1970s, and they were a grassroots movement, often with victims staying in someone’s house. It wasn’t until 1985 the Advocates opened their permanent shelter here in Carson City.
“Our shelter is the backbone of our agency,” Lee said. “They realized with our crisis call line that if you didn’t have anywhere to go what good is it? You can chat with them on the phone and maybe make them feel better but if you don’t have a place to go, there isn’t a solution.”
Victims can stay up to five months at the Carson City shelter, and hold up to 51 people. Most shelters only allow people to stay for 30 days, but Lee believes a month isn’t enough time for someone to reconstruct their life.
Though the shelter is a good resource for victims to turn to, Lee said it’s a last resort to have a victim go into the shelter.
“Its tough to go into a shelter, it’s something that no matter how nice I make it and how accommodating we are, it still isn’t your home,” Lee said. “If I can keep her in her house, it saves her a lot of money, the disruption of the kids, everything. Shelter is tough because you have to live with other people.”
Besides a shelter, the Advocates offer a number of resources for victims, including support groups. They also offer classes such as how to better manage a budget and nutritional cooking classes.
For more information on Partnership Carson City visit www.pcccarson.org or call (775) 841-4730. For information on the United Latino Community call (775) 885-1055. For information on the Ron Wood Family Center visit www.ronwoodcenter.org or call (775) 884-2269. For more information on the Advocates to End Domestic Violence call (775) 883-7654.