The Popcorn Stand: Pizza Day, make sure you don’t have it cut in too many slices

Today is National Pizza Day so of course I have to write about pizza. And of course I love pizza. And as much as we like pushing the pizza envelope, a simple pepperoni pizza is what I like best.

Most Americans agree with me as 36 percent of all pizzas sold in this country are simple pepperoni pizzas. Of course as I’ve already mentioned that doesn’t stop us from pushing the pizza envelope. In this country we have every type of pizza imaginable and have come up with recipes such as beer bread pizza and bacon and artichoke pizza.

And since I’m on the subject of artichokes that gives me the excuse to tell the world’s dumbest joke. Two guys meet each other Artie and Bill. Bill finds out Artie’s a hitman and wants to kill his wife but can’t afford Artie. Artie says he’s a professional but will do it for $1. Artie finds Bill’s wife at the supermarket and chokes her. But this box boy saw it, so he chokes him. But this little old lady pushing her shopping cart saw it, so he chokes her.

Anyway, Artie gets caught, the supermarket makes a big deal about it and its billboard the next day says, “Artie Chokes 3 For a $1.” But I digress.

But of course I also can’t resist telling the all-time pizza joke which is actually is a true story involving Yogi Berra, who went into a pizza place and ordered a medium pizza. When he was asked if he wanted it cut in eight slices or 12, Yogi repled, “You better make it eight, I don’t think I can eat 12.”

We buy 4 billion pizzas in this country every year — 1 billion of them frozen. We consume 23 pounds of pizza per person in a year. Seventeen percent of restaurants in this country are pizzerias.

Yes we Americans love our pizza. I think I might go pick up one right now. Nah, I’m too lazy. I’ll have it delivered.

— Charles Whisnand