The Popcorn Stand: Jose Can You See — Bigfoot?

When I first read about this, I thought $5,000 wouldn’t be enough for me to go anywhere with Jose Canseco.

Then I read closer and I realized people are evidently willing to pay Canseco $5,000 to go search for Bigfoot or something or other. I don’t know who’s worse, Canseco — or the people who would pay $5,000 to hang out with Canseco.

I guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental and I try not to be so judgmental.

A side note, I once did my George Plimpton “Paper Lion” impression and “tried out” for the Philadephia Phillies during an open tryout and wrote a story about my experience for the Porterville (Calif.) Recorder. Needless to say, my tryout didn’t go as well as Jimmy Morris’ tryout which was depicted in “The Rookie.”

Anyway I remember sitting with a bunch of other players listening to a scout talk about Canseco and he said there was no doubt in his mind Canseco was using steroids. And this was in 1989. But I digress.

Canseco is now asking people to give him $5,000 to spend a weekend with him to go searching for Bigfoot or something or other. He promises “authentic alien sightings and proven Bigfoot habitats.”

When I read Canseco was seeking “only serious inquiries please,” I about fell out of my chair, I was laughing so hard. But I totally agree with the part of the message when you call to make a reservation that states: “You never know what’s going to happen with Mr. Canseco.”

Canseco evidently thinks he’s some kind of Willy Wonka because evidently only 5 individuals will get a “golden ticket” to go on the excursion.

Canseco does promise to feed people on the trip and to also help book flights to Las Vegas where I assume the excursion begins. I’m assuming you also have to pay for your own flight and I’m assuming since the excursion evidently begins in Las Vegas, Canseco is just taking people out in the middle of nowhere, theoretically somewhere near Area 51. You don’t have to pay $5,000 to do that.

Of course, people reacted on Twitter like I did with one person tweeting Canseco’s most infamous moment of his career when a baseball bounced off his head and over the fence for a home run with the message: “This must have done more damage than we all thought.”

Anyway I’ve got the title for the reality show which will surely depict this excursion: “Jose Can You See — Bigfoot?”

— Charles Whisnand