April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. On the first Wednesday of April, the “Start By Believing” campaign launched, emphasizing the importance of starting by believing when someone reports being sexually assaulted or abused. Most victims do not report to law enforcement, often because of the responses they receive from friends and family members.
Take the Pledge to:
• Start by believing when someone tells you they were abused or sexually assaulted
• Support survivors on the road to justice and healing
• Help end the silence
When someone tells you they have been the victim of sexual assault or abuse, avoid further traumatizing the victim by not becoming an investigator and asking the 5W and 1H questions (Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How?). “Start by Believing” and offer support.
The Start by Believing Organization suggests some possible responses below:
“I believe you.”
“I’m sorry this happened.”
“I am here for you.”
Be Supportive:
“You can tell me as much or as little as you want.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m glad you told me. I’m so proud of you.”
Ask how you can help:
“What can I do to support you?”
“I can stay with you tonight. Would that help?”
“Do you want me to go with you to the hospital or police station?”
Avoid “why” questions. Even with the best of intentions, “why” questions can sound accusatory and make survivors blame themselves.
While men are the vast majority of perpetrators, men and boys can be victims, too. Jackson Katz, a co-founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention, enlists men in the struggle to prevent men’s violence against women.
Katz and his MVP colleagues have, over the last 20 years, worked extensively with schools, youth sports associations, community organizations, and with all major branches of the U.S. military. He believes sexual abuse, rape, and domestic violence are primarily a men’s issue. He is the author of: “Macho Paradox: How some men hurt women and How all men can help.”
Participate in Denim Day on Wednesday, April 26, to show your conviction that “There is no excuse and never an invitation to rape.”
The Denim Day story began in Italy in 1992 when an 18-year-old girl was raped by a 45-year-old driving instructor who was taking her to her very first driving lesson. He took her to an isolated road, pulled her out of the car, removed her jeans, and forcefully raped her.
She reported the rape, and the rapist was convicted and sentenced to jail. Years later, he appealed the conviction claiming that they had consensual sex.
The Italian Supreme Court overturned the conviction, and he was released. A statement from the court argued that because the victim was wearing very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans, it was not rape but consensual sex. This became known throughout Italy as the “jeans alibi.”
Enraged by the verdict, the women in the Italian Parliament launched a protest wearing jeans on the steps of the Supreme Court. This protest was picked up by Peace Over Violence, which thought everyone should be wearing jeans to protest all of the myths about why women and girls are raped. Denim Day was born in Los Angeles in April 1999 and has continued every year since.
For help and local resources regarding sexual abuse or assault, contact Advocates to End Domestic Violence, a private, non-profit organization located in Carson City at 24-Hour Crisis Hotline: 775-883-7654 or Text Hotline - AEDV to 20121.
Also, Sexual Assault Response Advocates: text SARA to 20121.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which is free, confidential, and available 24/7 at 800-656-HOPE.
Colleen Lyons is chair of Carson City’s Sexual Assault Response Team.