Fred Kingman: Loved well

Love is perhaps the strongest reality we get to experience. And while I agree that love is more than an emotion, it does embody a desire to give of yourself for the benefit of someone else. Looking back at my life, I realize I’ve been loved well. From friends to family to peers, I’ve been given far more than I deserve or have even given to others.

And this is what the Bible calls “grace.” Grace is getting what you don’t deserve, someone showing love regardless of whether it’s merited or reciprocated. And while God gives us dear people who show this to us, they are a shadow of him and his favor towards us. In other words, we owe a far greater debt than we could ever pay back.

But that’s the beauty of love, isn’t it? It’s a gift. If you know me, you know I love giving and getting gifts. There’s something exciting and transcendent about studying someone, picking out a present and being absurdly generous in giving it to them in a way they can’t turn it down. It’s simply the best!

This is the divine love that beats in the heart of God for us, a generous affection poured out regardless of what we deserve. And in my case, that’s very little. From a young age, I rejected the beauty of God and made myself the center of my world. But God kept sending people who showed me grace, until I understood his grace. The apostle Paul once wrote to his brothers and sisters in Rome about this reality.

Romans 5:6-8 says: “For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For rarely will someone die for a just person — though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

When I was at my worst, God was giving me his best. Jesus did not die for sufficient people but helpless ones! He gave his life on a cross for sinners, those who’ve been wrong and have wronged others. And that, my friend, is all of us.

But from the place of seeing our pride and bad decisions, we have a vantage point of seeing the God’s grace. Only at rock-bottom can we see the love given to us and appreciate it in all its wonder. An old puritan prayer called ‘The Valley of Vision’ spoke to this paradox of experiencing the fullness of love when we know how much we don’t deserve it:

“Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine. Let me find thy light in my darkness, thy life in my death, thy joy in my sorrow, thy grace in my sin, thy riches in my poverty, thy glory in my valley.”

We can all look back in life and see the love God has shown. We’re swimming in an ocean of grace and God desires for us to simply realize it. Look up and see the beauty of his love in the sacrifice of his son for you. Know that you, like me, don’t deserve it but have been given it regardless. And in this learn to accept and even give this grace to others.

Fred Kingman is the spiritual formation pastor at LifePoint Church in Minden.