What does love look like in a relationship? Love is a powerful and complex thing. It is made up of feelings and actions that bring out the best in both people. Love includes affection, concern for each other’s well-being, and a strong commitment. But no matter how love is shown, it should always include one key ingredient: respect.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month
This February, shine a light on Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. The theme chosen by teens is “Respect That.” It is a simple yet powerful idea. Respect, or the lack of it, can either build or break a relationship.
Respect is not just a nice thing to have in relationships — it is essential. It is both an action and a way of thinking. Respect helps create healthy, safe relationships. It is also the foundation for preventing dating abuse.
What is dating violence?
Dating violence is when someone is abused or shows aggression in a romantic relationship. It is important to remember that abuse is not love. Sadly, the statistics show how common it is:
• 41% of women and 26% of men have experienced abuse in relationships during their lifetime
• One in three teens and one in four college women have been victims of dating violence
This kind of abuse does not just hurt in the moment. It can have lasting effects on both physical and mental health.
What does abuse look like?
Sometimes, abuse is hard to see. Neither person in the relationship may realize it is happening. It can follow a pattern, starting with calm and loving moments, then building to tension, and finally exploding into arguments, threats, or even physical violence. Afterward, the abuser may apologize, and the cycle begins again.
Abuse can include:
• Controlling behavior: Deciding who you can spend time with or what you can do
• Emotional harm: Name-calling, threats, or making you feel guilty
• Physical harm: Hitting, pushing, or other forms of violence
Healthy relationships and setting limits
Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected in their relationships. In a healthy relationship, both people:
• Communicate openly: You should feel free to share your thoughts and feelings without fear
• Respect boundaries: You have the right to say “no” to anything that makes you uncomfortable at any time
• Support each other: You should feel encouraged to pursue your own interests, friendships, and goals
Red flags to watch for
If you notice these signs in your relationship or someone else’s, it might mean there is a lack of respect:
• Feeling pressured to do things you do not want to do
• Being afraid to share your thoughts or feelings
• A partner says you owe them something because of what they did for you
• A partner trying to control who you see or what you do
How to get help
No one should have to deal with dating abuse alone. If you or someone you care about is in an unhealthy relationship, reach out to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, counselor, or healthcare provider. There are also local and national resources that can help.
Local resources in Carson City
Advocates to End Domestic Violence
24-hour crisis hotline: 775-883-7654
Website: Aedv.org
National Resources
Love Is Respect
Call: 1-866-331-9474
Text: LOVEIS to 22522
Website: Www.loveisrespect.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Website: Thehotline.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Call: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Website: Rainn.org
Building a future with respect
Love is about kindness, trust, and mutual support. Respect is the foundation of all healthy relationships. This February, commit to understanding what love and respect really mean — and work toward creating safe, loving connections for yourself and others.
For information about services and programs available to you through Carson City Health and Human Services, visit gethealthycarsoncity.org/, or call 775-887-2190. You can visit the CCHHS office at 900 E. Long St., in Carson City or follow CCHHS on Facebook at facebook.com/cchhs, or Instagram @GetHealthyCarsonCity.