Fit punishments for freeway graffiti taggers

It ain't art ... graffiti has reared its ugly head on the freeway near Lompa and Carmine. So, once again, we're giving the justice system our cure for those caught doing it ... no jail time or community service ... just take some bright pink indelible paint (we'd be happy to pay for it) and paint EVERYTHING the "artist" owns, his car (inside and out), his clothes, him (or her, if the case may be), his house or apartment, his boombox or iPod, his computer and TV ... you see it, you paint it. Then, and only then, might the "artists" get an idea of what it takes to clean up the mess they have inflicted on the taxpaying public. This hurts his civil rights? Too bad ... to our way of thinking, the minute they pick up a spray can, they abrogate any civil rights they think they might have. Taggers, no doubt, are compensating for their lack of brains and their little ________ (fill in the blank with your own imagination) so they have to be "big men" by defacing others' property.

If you see it happening, do something ... get a license plate number, take a picture ... call the police! We all thank you. ...

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Hearty congratulations to Rosemary Smith for being the recipient of a Jefferson Award from Channel 4 ... Rosemary has spent countless hours volunteering in this community and deserves all the plaudits she can get. ...

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Another Carson stalwart, Russ Law, has volunteered to answer Jessica Simpson's call for a baby ... he is willing to go the extra mile and offer himself up for the cause. He is willing to even be adopted ... some people are just selfless ... (don't hold your breath for a Jefferson Award though, Russ.)

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On a serious note, Russ' son is in Iraq, and he urges you to go to www.anysoldier.com to help soldiers get calling cards for calls home, letters, etc. Also, there is a Web site at www.projectboresnake.org that sends rifle cleaning kits to our front line soldiers. Apparently, these work well in the desert sands, whereas the kits issued by the military are not nearly as good.

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Thanks to DeeAnn Parsons, we heard about "an old lady just returning from church services, when she confronted a robber in her home. 'Stop! Acts 2:38 ("Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven"),' she yelled. The burglar stopped in his tracks, and the woman calmly called the police and explained what was happening. As the officer cuffed the man, he asked him, 'Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was yell a Scripture at you.' 'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an axe and two 38s.'"

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Good stuff: After more than two months of nearly being blown away by the windstorm in January, Silver State Fitness has reopened, better than ever. It's "business as usual," with a new juice bar and aerobics studio to be completed soon ... congratulations, Cindy and Craig, for hanging in there. ... Brooke Conway, Norma Conway's granddaughter, has been selected to attend the 10-day National Honors Convention at Loyola-Marymount in Los Angeles. She will be in the medical-instruction group and intends to go into sports medicine in the future. Smart girl. ...

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Many thanks to "Mr. Ed" at Capital Ford, who fixed Maizie's gas cap (on her car, for those of you who might be confused) with a flick of the screwdriver. Nice people there (he also told her he had a "TV show," but that cosmetic surgery made him look different ... no comments from the peanut gallery, please). ...

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Stuff going on ... Erik Olsen, of Glenbrook, is the new AARP national president, as of May. Carson High's Performing Arts will be presenting its Fairytale Theater production of "Robin Hood" starting April 14 at 7:30 PM at the Community Center. It's directed by senior Jon Josten and features all your favorite Sherwood Forest characters. Call 887-0438 for additional times and information. Mallard's will return to its monthly wine tastings on April 13 ... food and wine, $20 ... so for a good time, call 885-1019.

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From one of our favorite Internet wags... "California ... 155 years ago. Do you know what happened this week back in 1850? California became a state. It had no electricity. It had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So, basically, it was just like California today ... except the women had real boobs."

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Sheila Reinhardt (one of the Tatro clan) turned (gee, the computer blurs every time we type the age in) this week. She was "arrested" in Stew's, cuffed, and taken to jail, where she was ordered to don stripes and be taken to the Brewery Arts Center, where Judge Mike Fondi was presiding. Ray Badger (a vision in tight plaid) was her attorney, while George McNally proceeded to prosecute her for "looking and acting like a young person." About the time Judge Fondi was about to pass sentence, the "Reinelles," aka Tom Atwood, Terry Knight and Mike Berry, appeared to render "It Was a Very Good Year," in song. It ended up happily (a jug of chianti had something to do with that, we're sure), and everyone vowed to come back on her next "10-year" birthday. Happy birthday, Sheila. ...

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The McCormick brand of spices has been advertising "finishing sauces." To paraphrase Willie Shakespeare, "Gravy by any other name still tastes like gravy."

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The marina in Sparks is getting a huge new shopping complex ... the Summitt Sierra in Reno just opened up ... and Carson City? Well, we've got a parking lot (or two) we'd like to sell you. ...

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For those of you who think this is a "free" country, think twice. "Freedom" is not cheap ... it comes with responsibility ... and that means living by its laws ... and when you do that, you are more than welcome here. ...

• Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.