Can you hear me now? Listening and teamwork are very important skills to develop

We've all seen the cell phone commercials where the man walks around asking, "Can you hear me now?" Sometimes talking to your teenager feels just like that. Parents often complain that their teenagers just aren't listening to them, and they might be right.

Listening, like teamwork, is what employers call a "soft skill." It's an important skill that employees need, but it is seldom formally taught in the classroom.

Nearly half of all jobs examined by ACT require strong listening skills, but less than a quarter of all people who took the WorkKeys job skills test showed that they had high-level listening skills.

Teamwork is another important skill in more than 60 percent of jobs. Most workers are required to work with a team, from office workers to musicians to waiters to doctors and construction workers. Each of us probably knows people at work who drive down morale and productivity because of an inability or unwillingness to be a "team player."

Students won't necessarily learn listening or teamwork skills in school. Even if they do, there are things that you can do, as a parent, to work with your students at home to improve these important skills.

Teenagers sometimes "tune out" their parents, so it's hard to say that your son has poor listening skills just because he stares off into space when you start talking about cleaning his room. One way to really check your teen's listening skills is to take a look at the phone messages he takes for you. Does the message contain all of the relevant information: who called, when and what the caller wanted? Or do they look something like this: "Some lady, Mrs. Smith, or maybe Schmidt, called last night about something for next weekend. Call her back."

If you think your teen really lacks the skills to listen well, try a few exercises that can help. The next time your family is out to dinner could be the perfect time to discuss examples of those with good - and bad - listening skills. When your waiter gets everyone's orders just right, without even writing them down, ask him how he remembers so well. Or, if the waiter gets the orders mixed up, it's a chance to explain how poor listening skills can hurt employees, perhaps by earning a smaller tip.

At home, you could try asking your teens for the title and singer of a couple of their favorite songs. Then go online and find the song lyrics. Sit down, and listen to the songs, then see who can write down the most correct lyrics. Ask what the lyrics mean. Listening is more than just hearing words; it's also important to understand what's being said.

Teamwork is something that you're probably already working on with your teenagers without even realizing it. If you require your daughter to take out the trash every week, or your son to mow the lawn, as part of his or her responsibility to the family (team), you're teaching him/her teamwork.

Discussing what happens when any one member of the team fails to do his or her duty reinforces the importance of working as a team. If someone doesn't go to the grocery store regularly, the family won't have anything to eat. If the garbage isn't emptied on the right day, the house could end up rather smelly, and you could have to pay extra when you have too much garbage the next week.

Listening and teamwork may not be listed on a report card, but they're still both very important skills for school, home and the workplace. Work with your teenagers to make sure that these so-called "soft" skills aren't overlooked.

• Rose Rennekamp is vice president of communications for ACT. E-mail her at askrose@act.org.