Here are some carefully selected, true-life adventures (AKA zany antics) that actually happened during 2006 to some of our local folks. Enjoy!
Rich Bachle had to be slyly reminded that his chances of catching a fish at Pyramid Lake from a boat would dramatically improve if his lure was IN the water, rather than dangling ABOVE it. He probably should not plan on a second career as a rocket scientist.
Paul Beck of Dayton won the "You Screwed Up" Award at the Ormsby Sportsmen's Association (OSA) annual banquet. He was carrying his daughter's deer hunting tag in his pocket for safe keeping. Yep, he lost it, while they were out hunting in the hills. Nice going, dad!
Gunny Benson of Douglas County and Norm Budden of Carson City got skunked when they trolled for Mackinaw trout at Lake Tahoe in 450 feet of water with downriggers that only contained 300 feet of wire. That's two more individuals who should not plan on second careers as rocket scientists!
Jack Cooke of Carson City had to reach down into his hole in the ice at Wildhorse Reservoir to rescue his pole and reel that had been pulled into the water by a fish. He got his arm and clothes soaking wet, saved the pole and reel, but lost his lure and the fish.
Robert Dau of Carson City won the "Sure Shot" award at the OSA annual banquet. He shot an impressive eight times before he finally got his elk. Maybe, he needs to carry bandoliers of bullets over his shoulders like the old-time bandits.
Don Hettrick of Carson City desperately needs a check list prior to going anywhere. On one trip to Lahontan Reservoir, he forgot to take the gas can and two extra gas containers for his trolling motor. They were all full of gas, safe and sound, back in his garage, together with his forgotten downriggers.
Tracee Hettrick of Carson City mis-wired the brand-new steering mechanism on his dad's boat. When Don took the boat out on Topaz Lake, the boat could only go in circles and it had to be towed back to the dock. You can scratch Tracee from the rocket scientist list, too.
Nate Johnston of Gardnerville carries around a fly fishing bag filled with about $1,000 worth of hand-tied flies, reels, spare line, tools, etc. That's a lot of money and gear just to catch 7-inch rainbows. Heck, a container of worms would be a lot easier and a lot cheaper.
Marty Martinez of Carson City did not want to spend $25 to attend the OSA annual banquet, so he lost out on $240 in the "Skins" drawing when his name was drawn and he was not present. Oh well, you snooze, you lose.
Scott Mattheus of Carson City stepped into a ice fishing hole while walking on the ice at Wildhorse Reservoir last winter. That probably explains why he got so short and listed to one side, all of a sudden.
Bob "Slick" McCulloch of Carson City spent a day deer hunting, north of Wildhorse Reservoir, with his high-powered rifle, while his shells were safe and sound back at the motel room in Mountain City. Geez, I wonder if he is related to Don Hettrick?
Gene Phelps of Carson City reported that he and his fishing party got skunked, not once by twice, on a fishing trip to Walker Lake. That day, they fished the north end and then the south end with similar results: Yipes! A double skunk. That's pretty bad.
Elaine Quilici of Carson City mistook a flock of geese for a herd of deer, while they were feeding in a field near the Mason Valley Wildlife Management Area near Yerington. I was afraid to ask her if any of the geese had antlers.
Syd Schlachta of Stagecoach was fishing in a boat at Topaz Lake, with her husband Wayne. When he asked her to throw out the anchor, she did. However, the anchor was not tied to a rope and is now, somewhere, on the bottom of the lake. Oh well, he probably needed a new anchor.
Chuck Van Hise of Carson City created several batches of super red-hot, breath-taking, sinus-clearing, butt-kicking, homemade Horseradish in his kitchen. Then, he asked yours truly to taste some to see if it was "hot" enough!
Wow! That stuff could be used in Napalm Bombs by the military.
Finally: These are all true-life adventures as either witnessed by or reported to me. I just report what happens, I don't make these things up. Honest!
• Bet Your Favorite Pigeon
Bet your favorite pigeon that he can't tell you which of the above is my favorite.
If he grin and says, "Don likes the boat anchor antic the best," he could be one of my close friends.
• Don Quilici is the Outdoors Editor for the Nevada Appeal.