Prayers for our soldiers, and what's in Viagra

Good news ... Tyrel Armstrong is doing well and is back on duty. The other news is that we got the "rest of the story" wrong ... there were not two other Humvees wiped out, and no one was killed. For this we are grateful (both Tyrel's wife and father contacted us and set us straight) ... it was apparently a miscommunication down the line. We are also grateful to others for praying for Tyrel ... they asked if our readers would also keep two other Carsonites in their prayers ... Kenny Newberry and Erik McQueary. To their families, as well as Tyrel's ... you bet we will ...

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We found out that National Merit Scholar Bud Kop has a "real" first name ... Andrew. Seems his grandfather, Mike Pintar, started calling him "Bud" when he was born, and it stuck. He's still smart, no matter what you call him ...

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Bode Miller = Big Mouth.

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DeeAnn Parsons (from whom we got all our jokes today) saw where they finally released the ingredients in Viagra ... "3 percent vitamin E, 2 percent aspirin, 2 percent ibuprofen, 1 percent vitamin C, 5 percent spray starch and 87 percent Fix-A-Flat." In Britain, they also use it for upper lips ...

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Life's lessons ... as Father Jerry Hanley was driving the other day, he was deeply disturbed by the deaths of three Carson City teens in automobile accidents. He wondered how he could make teenagers aware of the problem of driving and not paying attention. Just then, he saw lights flashing in his rear-view mirror, and thought to himself, "Must be someone I know." He pulled over. and the deputy said, "Sir, you just ran through a stop sign." Father Jerry was dressed in mufti, and when he pulled out his ID, the policeman moaned, "Oh dear, I just gave a ticket to a priest." Not to worry ... FJ paid the fine willingly, and learned the lesson that you MUST be aware when driving at all times, no matter how good your thoughts may be ...

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Speaking of Fr. Jerry ... Lent begins tomorrow, so Mardi Gras party tonight ... then we'll have six more weeks of winter (groooooan ... that's an "old" joke) ...

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Farewell to our beloved editor, Barry Smith ... we will surely miss him (although he's only moving to the Rinckel Mansion to become head of the Nevada State Press Association). His replacement is Barry Ginter (the first B says, "All editors must be named Barry."), who will come on board March 6. Maybe we'll buy you lunch soon, B ...

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Do you believe the "deal" with Dubai to take over our port security? That's like having the fox watch the henhouse. And while the Democrats are drubbing the Republicans, if they don't get a bona fide leader pretty soon with some cogent ideas, they're going to be holding the reins and wondering where the hell the horse went ...

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"A preacher decided he wants to know what his teenage son will become. So he put a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of beer in his room and vows to secretly see what the boy will do with them. 'If he picks up the Bible, he'll be a preacher like me,' he thinks. 'If he picks up the silver dollar, he'll be a banker. If he goes to the bottle of booze, he'll be a drunkard, and, Lord, that would be a shame.' The boy comes home, and while the preacher peeks through the door, the kid goes over and looks at the items. After seeing them, he picks up the Bible (the preacher is thrilled), then puts the silver dollar in his pocket and takes a swig of the booze. 'Oh my God,' moans the preacher, 'He's going to be a politician.'"

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Congratulations to Coach Kyle Schellin and the Reno Huskies for winning state in basketball (he's the son of Donna and Mike Schellin of Carson City); the WNCC Wildcats for winning their first four home games; Alexis Lequerica for winning a blue ribbon at the third-grade science fair ... she found out which goes faster, a sled, a tube or a disc (the disc did); Carson Tahoe Hospital Auxiliary for getting a shuttle going at the new hospital so people won't have to walk from the parking lot (Sunday-Friday, noon to 5); and Carla Wilson, Teri Levy and Jody Paslov for having a winner in "Same Time, Next Year" at the CVIC Hall in Minden (684-8077). Way to go, folks ...

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Cindy and Craig McEwan's Silver State Fitness, which was nearly "Gone With the Wind" in January, will be back in operation in about a week (call 884-2955 for information) ... new paint, new juice bar, new air conditioning and probably, the safest building in Carson City ... you'll be "blown away" (but not in the way they were earlier) ... they can hardly wait to see their friends and customers again ... it's good to have them back ...

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And why are windstorms, floods, hurricanes, tornados, mudslides, etc., called "acts of God?" Why not "acts of the devil?" Or does God get into a snit now and then?

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We met three nice young men at the Cracker Box the other day ... Derek, Johnny and Rhys. They're into the music scene, particularly jazz and blues, and are looking to perform in the area. If you need a good group, call Johnny at 790-9619 (he also plays classical music) and he can set you up ... plus, they're cute ...

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We heard of a person who was dissing community theater the other day as "amateur." Let's see ... how many "professional" movies bomb each year? or Broadway shows? Some of them make "amateur" look good. A pox on anyone who thinks that "amateur" equals bad ... maybe they better take in "Ishtar" or "Amazon Girls on the Moon." Pffffft ... (you know where we stand)

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"A woman runs into her house at full speed shouting, 'John, pack your bags ... I won the lottery!' Her husband shouts, 'What should I pack ... beach stuff or mountain stuff?!' 'Doesn't matter ... just get the hell out!'"

-- Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.