Happy New Year, whatever day they decide it is

Ahhh, for the good old days when the Rose Bowl parade and game were on Jan. 1 ... the parade was scheduled for yesterday at 11 a.m. (postponed a day, they said, because the first fell on a Sunday), and the game won't be until tomorrow at 5 p.m. Ratz.

What's this world coming to? We had to clean house, knit (yeah, right) and watch the rain come down again ... yippee. So happy New Year to all, and may the rest of it be terrific. Make your resolutions now to diet, get rich, have your children get straight As and treat you with respect ... dream on ... good luck ...

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Speaking of water (rain is water), you should drive out to the Empire Ranch Golf Course (er, Water Park) and take canoeing lessons on their newly developed lake. At least from their restaurant, Mallard's (aptly named this week), you can watch the gulls, ducks and geese having a wonderful time ... it's really for the birds, considering the work they'll have to do when the "lake" subsides.

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And, for one brief moment in time, the duck ponds on Curry Street have water ... we still have our fantasies ...

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We also noticed the retention basin at Western Nevada Community College doing its work ... a lot of homes were protected by it keeping the water from surging down the mountain. Still, a lot of water found a way into many homes and streets, making the city and state maintenance people work heroically clearing culverts, sandbagging, and managing our "30-year flood" that seems to come every 7-10 years.

To all the people who helped their neighbors, the street department, the fire and police and medical people ... a big thank you ... you are all appreciated. And a thank you to Channel 2 for starting the all-day coverage, then to Channel 4 for continuing on until evening. KPTL's Craig Swope, Dave Morgan, and Channel 8 were also on the air keeping us informed. Let's hope it tapers off pretty soon and they don't have so much to cover ...

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"A guy is driving around and sees a sign that says, 'Talking dog for sale.' He stops and asks to see the dog, so the owner takes him into the backyard where a Labrador retriever is sitting.

"'Is this him?' the man asks.

"The owner nods, and the guy asks, 'You talk?'

"'I do,' said the lab.

"'So what's your story?' asks the man.

"The lab looks at him and replies, 'I found I could talk at a very young age, so I told the CIA about my gift and they set me to work sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. It enabled me to help my country because no one suspected a dog of eavesdropping. When I got tired of jetting from country to country, I started my own security business, and, after uncovering some incredible dealings, was awarded a bunch of medals, then settled down, had a bunch of puppies, and retired.'

"The man is amazed and asks the owner, 'How much do you want for him?'

"'Ten dollars,' came the reply.

"'Ten dollars? Why, he's worth a fortune ... why are you selling him so cheap?'

"'Because he's a liar ... he never did any of that stuff.'" (Thanks, Mel)

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We weren't there ... but didn't it seem like 14 armed New Orleans PD officers could have come up with a different solution than killing that man with a knife last week? Granted, they had tried pepper spray and a taser and that didn't work, but maybe a net or a fire hose or something creative other than killing him?

We think Barney Fife would be too smart for that department ... and don't blame our "bleeding liberal hearts" or "Hurricane Katrina" for that one ...

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In the meantime, the "napkin police" from Garabaldi's have been sent out for Maizie again ... she has a bad habit of tucking her napkin into her waistband (a social no no) and walking out of restaurants ... really classy ... the Grille, Crackerbox, Adele's, The Basil and who knows where else have all tracked her down and reclaimed their wares.

So, in the future, if you see her absconding with one ... please tell her, so she won't be the abject object of any more ridicule than she already is ...

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OK, OK, OK ... is it WINNemucca? or WinneMUCCa? We disagree with our local TV announcers. Anyone from Winnemucca care to set us straight? Inquiring minds want to know ...

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"Sweet nothings" ... Jerry Wyness was with his wife, Diane, the other day, when he mentioned that his high school sweetheart was Venus Marriage of Carson City, and that he still "loved" her and that time in their lives.

We thought that was sweet and particularly nice, since his wife approves ... may we all be lucky and secure enough to have people love us from our past ... (draw smiley face in here _________ )

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And isn't it nice that Ruth Merriner and her family gave the Carson Tahoe Regional Medical Center's new cancer facility the money to complete the 15 cottages to be used for families wanting to stay close to their relatives who are being treated for cancer ... it doesn't get any better than that.

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On the flip side ... we heard the disturbing news of a local gentleman in his 80s, who, after having a knee replacement, needed to leave the local surgicenter after three days because Medicare refused to extend his stay or send him to rehab.

Upon returning home, he fell, and is now back in the hospital with other injuries. He had asked to stay another day, but his doctor had left on vacation, and his general practitioner had retired, so he had no one to advocate for him.

His wife is also in her 80s, and had difficulties helping him. Seems to us, the system failed them both ... too bad common sense and a better set of rules weren't in order on this one ... we hope he gets and feels better soon ...

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Bruce Smith sent us these musings: "Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why, if people evolved from apes, are there still apes? Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?"

n Carolyn DeMar and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.