Neil Sharp told his golfing foursome, Jim Hanna, John Herlan and Steve Honey, that he couldn't stay for another beer the other day because he had his dog and kids locked up in the car ..."Don't worry, it's a convertible." (Nooooo, he did NOT have his kids and dog locked in the car, but, they liked his excuse ... bad and original).
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The traditional preliminary to Hot August Nights, Run What Cha Brung's "Rock & Roll Weekend," is being held this weekend in Fuji Park. It's always a good time to see some neat ol' cars, beautifully restored, and hear tales of the fun people had cruising in them. Call 883-1634 for additional information.
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There's a quiz on the Internet that will take about two minutes of your time that you might want to take. Go to www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html, answer 10 questions, and it will show you where you stand politically. We both enjoyed taking it ... found out we're not too radical after all.
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With that said, Ken Fraser sent us the following "politically incorrect" news: "This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar warned the United States that if military action against Iraq doesn't cease, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience-store managers. And if this action doesn't yield results, cab drivers will be next, followed by phone service reps. It's getting ugly."
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Political ads are beginning to fill the airwaves again ... beware of what they say. Just because someone says something, doesn't make it true. So look at these ads with a grain of salt, and question their validity. "Follow the money" is good advice, and do a little homework about their claims. We'll all be better for it. And to the one ad that claims, "I'm not a politician," get real ... just by filing for office, you became one.
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We have a friend whose mother had to be put in a nursing home recently and who is now facing the wrath of the family for doing so. Funny, isn't it, how those who were NOT taking care of her 24 hours a day, who are miles removed from the problem, are the first to criticize how everything is handled. They were also the first ones who didn't want to care for Mom or contribute to her welfare, but sure are the loudest now. Shame on you. And to those in the family who DID care for her ... you came through when it mattered ... and you've done the right thing. So if the shoe fits, folks, take a good look in the mirror, and own up to your part in this. Doesn't the good book say, "Don't throw stones"?
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Wow, the "age of consent" to marry in Colorado has been set at 15 for common-law marriages (based on English common law, which Colorado recognizes), with one judge saying it should be 12 for females and 14 for males with "parental consent." WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? We don't think their brainstems connect with their brains until they're in their 20s, much less seeing "parents" giving their consent. Apparently, some Coloradans (is that a word?) are suffering from "doofuss brain syndrome" (yeah, we just made that up). What's next there? Lowering the drinking age to 10? Driving at 7? Make up some more idiotic laws and send them to the Colorado Legislature. They'll love you for it.
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Ron and Brett Sanders and Mike Boza are leaving this week on a three-week safari to Africa. Brett is taking his new fancy camera- and will hopefully bring back some great shots. Ron and Mike are going to bring home trophy meerkats and dik-diks. Have fun, guys.
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Well, Maizie has taken a second tour of the new Wal-Mart parking lot. You'd think she'd learn, particularly after just renewing her license. Coming west on College Parkway, she turned left at the light (thinking she was turning left on Roop) and ended up touring the lot. After finding herself amidst Wal-Mart shoppers, she reversed course, went back on the parkway, and turned at the NEXT corner to get back on Roop. She has heard that other people have done the same thing, so she doesn't feel too badly, but ... better signage, NDOT? Or will she just have to put that one in her memory banks?
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Terry Beauchamp swears he went into his supermarket the other day and said, "Just before the automatic mist machine goes on, you hear the sound of thunderstorms. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackling. He says he was afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle." Arrrrrrrgh ...
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After the wine tasting at Mallard's the other night, someone asked "Where's dessert?" Within the blink of an eye, brownies were out on the table. However, Dwight Millard said, "We can't have brownies without ice cream," so he hustled out the door and brought back lots of ice cream for the troops, who then enjoyed their choice of ice cream with delicious brownies. Thanks, Dwight. It was a great "ice cream social ..."
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DeeAnn Parsons tells us about the guy who went to a psychiatrist. "Doc, every time I go to bed I think there's someone under it. I think I'm going crazy." "Well," muses the doc, "just put yourself in my care for a year, and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "What do you charge," asked the man? "Eighty dollars per visit," the doctor replied. "I'll sleep on it," the guy says, and left the office. Six months later, the doctor met the man on the street and said, "Why didn't you come to see me about the problem you were having?" "Well, doc, 80 bucks a visit was pretty steep for me, so I went to my bartender, and he solved my problem for $10." "May I ask how he did that?" asked the doc. "He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody been under it since."
Have a great week ... and happy birthday, Kirk.
• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at editor@nevadaappeal.com.