Somewhere twixt heaven, hell, we laughed

D o you ever have weeks when you feel you're somewhere between heaven and hell and can't seem to fit on the roller coaster? This must have been one of them.

Carolyn had an infected tooth, giving her time to ache and sit at home and watch TV, thus making her wonder why "hoods" in the news think they look "cool" with their hoods pulled way out over their faces, while two minutes later Showtime shows a commercial for your "favorite" serial killer with a picture of some murderer smiling at the camera. Meanwhile, she's wondering "what have we come to?" At the same time, Maizie is drinking something the X-ray lab gave her that's labeled "pleasant-tasting," when you KNOW anything that's labeled that has GOT to be vile. She wasn't disappointed.

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Therefore, with that clearly stated, Carolyn's tooth is better, and Maizie got through the icky stuff quite well. WNC's women's soccer team was not so fortunate. Without a viable league to play in, they are being dropped from the schedule, and the college is now looking at substituting softball or volleyball. It's a damned shame, but without league support, they couldn't continue.

The only good part is that the girls will continue with their scholarships, and the college is looking for teams to which they can transfer if they wish. No matter what, it sucks.

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In the public's interest, Jesse Beaudry sent us this one: "A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man differs, depending on where she is in her monthly cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is having her period or is menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are planned at this time."

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There is a lot of good news going on in Carson City: ZBistro just celebrated its one-year anniversary ... congratulations, Tina and Gilles; both Adele's and the Cracker Box are helping the "go-green revolution" by using paper "to-go" boxes ... nice; McAvoy Lane (aka Mark Twain) was recently married to his lovely Rebecca ... may they have many happy years ahead; and a belated happy birthday to Mike Hautekeet of Mike's Pharmacy ... 50 and still alive (he was muttering something about "the golden years"). Be sure and drop a turkey off tomorrow at the pharmacy when it has its annual "Turkey Drop." It helps many families in town. And don't forget to drop one off at FISH as well. They will be bagging Thanksgiving baskets soon. Oh Gawd, like, how could we forget Michelle Olson's "80's" party ... gee, she doesn't look that old, does she? Just gag us with a spoon, Michelle.

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Questions that have to be asked: Now that Bush is cozy with France's Sarkozy, can we now go back to eating "French" fries? And, since Darren Mack is moving to "Ely" soon, will he be able to get Grecian Formula or Just for Men there? Just wondering.

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Don't forget, you can call the Do Not Call Registry at 1-888-382-1222 and get some of those telemarketers off your back. You can also go to www.usps.com and find out how to put your own pictures on stamps for Christmas (or any other day, we presume). A fun thing for Christmas cards and packages.

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The Pinkerton Ballet Theatre will be performing the 19th annual production of the "The Nutcracker" ballet 7 p.m. Nov. 23 and 24 and 2 p.m. Nov. 25 at the Community Center, and in Reno at the Grand Sierra Resort 7 p.m. Dec. 7 and 2 p.m. Dec. 8. This year, former Carson City dance star Charlie Hodges will return as the Snow King, as well as a host of other wonderful dancers. Call 841-4232 for additional information and tickets. You and your whole family won't want to miss this beautiful Christmas spectacular.

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A "friend" sent this to us a while back: "A husband, thinking he was quite the wit, said to his wife, 'Perhaps you should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off your butt.' His wife didn't say a word, but the next morning as the husband was taking his underwear out of the drawer, he thinks, 'What the hell is this?' as a cloud of dust appeared when he shook it out. He yelled at his wife, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my shorts?' She replied with a snicker, 'It's not talcum powder ... it's Miracle Grow.'"

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Jessi, Maizie and Carolyn are sending out a "get-well" message to Skip Hammargren to start feeling better soon; and our sympathy to the family of Chet Koniak, who worked with M at Employment Security for many years.

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GROW (Gardeners Reclaiming Our Waysides), NDOT and the Carson City Board of Supervisors ask you to come and join them when they accept $20,000 in grants and donations from GROW accumulated over the last 10 years for the beautification of our new freeway, and a $2 million grant from the Federal Highway Administration Thursday from 9-11 a.m. at the Sierra Room of the Community Center. Also, the RTC will meet Wednesday at 5:30 p.m. at the same place to approve the stewardship agreement for the "Ultimate" landscaping of Phase I of the freeway. You're all invited for the meetings and refreshments.

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The Capital City Arts Initiative (CCAI) is holding a party Friday to celebrate the artists called the "Carson 5," and the book launch of Box Sled Publishing, from 5-7 p.m. The gallery is on the corner of Third and Curry streets, and you're all invited to meet the artists and authors who will be there. A fun and creative time for all. For information, call 267-3245, 721-7936 or 230-1073, and be supportive of our local talent. And don't forget "The Nerd" this weekend in Minden 265-7694.

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Nina Bailey writes, "A young boy asked his grandpa how old he was. The grandpa teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa ... mine says I'm four to six.'"

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. Write to them at carolynandmaizie@yahoo.com