Some humor to put a spring in your step

Some days you just have to start with a laugh, so Jonni Moon came up with this one: "Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides down the ramp to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage, hitched to six white horses. They continue on toward Buckingham Palace, waving to thousands of cheering Britons. All is going well until, suddenly, the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of states' do their best to ignore the incident. The Queen turns to the President, 'Mr. President, please accept my regrets ... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.' Mr. Bush, trying to be 'presidential,' replies: 'Your Majesty, please do not give the matter another thought ... until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.'"

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Carolyn wants to make "points" with Father Chuck Durante, so we're "rementioning" that on Friday at 7 p.m., there will be a FREE Christian concert at St. Teresa's Church on Lompa Lane, and EVERYONE is invited (that oughta be worth 2 points, at least).

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Our deepest sympathies to Marie Blanchard and her family, on the death of her husband, Ed Blanchard. He headed the Nevada Day Committee for 26 years, and will be missed.

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New and unlikely places to eat (believe us, we're up on these): Supper Club Zulu, on the corner of Mt. Rose Highway and S. Virginia Street in Reno ... while it looks like a night club, they are open all day, every day, serving things like lobster benedict for breakfast, and offering live (PG-13) entertainment at night. If you don't know how to dance, they'll teach you, and there's no cover charge. Dial 333-9858 for details, menus, and programs. Hobey's Steakhouse in Sun Valley, north of Reno on Sun Valley Drive, has excellent food at very good prices. They are open Tuesday's through Saturdays, 5-9 p.m., with their coffee shop open all the time (673-0683). This is the casino that has expanded four times in the last 15 years, so they must be doing something right. And, finally, the very eclectic Liverpool Lil's in San Francisco, just across from the main entrance to the Presidio ... wow ... if you get there around 11 a.m. for lunch, there's even parking available, and their food is fantastic. Don't say we don't keep you up on things in the area.

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Rhonda Knox caught these two for us: On his program the other night, Jay Leno said, "If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates." And, "Mary was driving home from a business trip in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped and asked if the woman would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the old woman got in the car. Resuming the journey, Mary tried in vain to make small talk, but the old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything, studying every detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Mary. 'What's in the bag?' the old woman asked. 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.' The Navajo woman was silent for a couple of minutes. Then, speaking with the quiet voice of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'"

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The Rotary Club of Carson City is holding "Reach for the Stars," featuring ex-fighter pilot Brian Shul's personal story, including his flights on the SR-71 "Blackbird." It's being held Wednesday, April 23rd, at the Galaxy Theatre (behind the Fandango), and will benefit the Carson Tahoe Cancer Center ScholarSteps Student and Teacher Scholarship Program. It is $100 per person, and hosted cocktails and hors d'oeuvres will be served at 5:30 p.m., with the program beginning at 6:30 p.m. Call 888-1122, ext. 200, for reservations and details. The very entertaining Kat Simmons will also appear.

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There is a date change for Sol Jibe, at D'Vine Wine, to April 10th, 5:30-8:30 p.m. (882-7766 for reservations).

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Lots of theater things going on: CHS's last weekend of "Copacabana - the Musical," will be at the Community Center (details: boxoffice@carson.K12.nv.us); Wild Horse Children's Theater presents "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" at the Children's Museum beginning April 18. Call 887-0438 for details. And Bruka Theater in Reno will showcase Peter L. Coates and Catherine Cook (directed by Karen Chandler) in "Two Small Bodies," for one weekend, beginning Thursday, April 24. Their number is 323-3221.

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Michael Bish wanted to know why the Appeal always has pictures of the Giants and never the A's? Apparently he's not a Giant's fan. Belated Happy Birthdays to Sue Wiklauski, Rory Hogen and Sherry Hester, and a BIG HUG from us to Kit Tatro ... just because.

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Maizie went to San Francisco last week for a couple of days and saw the Annie Leibovitz exhibition at the Palace of the Legion of Honor; along with one of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and jewelry and pottery from the same area. Just beautiful. She also discovered something the "guys" would like in Sausalito ... it's called the "Bay Model," built by the Army Corp of Engineers in 1954 (before computers took over) ... a model of the entire bay and its drainage. It covers THREE FOOTBALL FIELDS in area, so it's no small deal. It's free and open to the public (until they chase you out at 4:15 p.m.)

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More of our "mysterious" jokester, who turns out to be Scotty Ruff: "If a Strike Isn't Settled Quickly ... It May Last a While." (ya think?) (Remember ... these are the best headlines of 2007). "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures." (really?) "Red Tape Holds Up Bridges." (you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?) "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft." (no more beans for him), "Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half" (another chainsaw massacre). And, "Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors." (boy, are they tall or what?)

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime CarsonCity residents. They can be reached by e-mail at carolynandmaizie@yahoo.com