I've never been in a situation where someone had pizza and I didn't want to eat it.
The problem is that most people don't want to give away their pizza, and I'm only allowed to have a couple pieces when it is available at parties or dinners.
These pieces also are always too small and social laws have to be obeyed in order to get some.
I should just offer the person in charge of the pizza a sum of money before people start eating because then I could at least eat all the pizza available in the room.
I'd still want more, but none would be left for me to want to eat.
I've actually never wanted to stop eating pizza at any time. I've felt disappointed with myself, but that's all, and this is one of the reasons I like frozen pizza so much.
Frozen pizza is small enough to have a foreseeable end, but large enough to be a delicious amount you are not expected to share and that's good, because I love pizza so much it makes me compromise my moral beliefs.
If I were asked to divide a pizza evenly, the person I shared the pizza with might get at most one-third of the pizza.
Another great thing about frozen pizza is that it is good in different ways at different times.
It is good straight out of the oven.
It is good late at night.
It is good the next morning cold and crisp from the refrigerator.
Last week I ate pizza for dinner every night to see if I'd get tired of it and the opposite happened. I wanted pizza for lunch, breakfast and any time during the rest of the day when you're not supposed to eat but most people make excuses for snacks.
I realized I had to visually mark what portion of pizza was a serving because I had no way to know how to stop otherwise.
I wish I had this problem with food no one wants, like vegetables.
Scientists say vegetables are good for people, so that means human beings a long time ago must have loved vegetables so much that their bodies learned to thrive on them.
This makes me think that if pizza has one fault, it is that it does not grow in the wild. If it did, our bodies might have learned to rely on food we actually liked.
Wild pizza also might have already given the earth something that we will now have to wait years to evolve: Pizza Man.
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Application forms for the Alyce McCracken Memorial Scholarships, sponsored by the Sierra Nevada Association of Realtors, are due by March 14.
High school seniors in Carson City, Douglas County, Churchill County and Lyon County (except for Fernley, which is part of the Reno/Sparks association) can apply for seven $1,000 scholarships. Winners are scheduled to be announced the first part of April 2008. Application forms are available at counseling offices of each high school or directly from the association at 885-7200.
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Bob Pence of Capital Wholesale Electric in Carson City has been inducted into the Society of Honored Associates of the National Association on Home Builders (NAHB).
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Stephanie Ehlen of the Sierra Veterinary Hospital recently went through the Veterinary Management Institute offered by Purdue University and the American Animal Hospital Association.
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CaiE's Oriental Cafe, 301 N. Carson St., is closed for remodeling and hiring managers and assistant managers. Call 356-8838 for more information.
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Mr. Pickles Sandwich Shop, 3250 Retail Drive, is under new ownership and will open soon.
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Roger Diez has been named Member Services Manager for Northern Nevada Development Authority (NNDA), the economic development agency for Carson City, Douglas, Lyon and Story counties.
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Brent Holderman is now senior vice president of Carson River Community Bank.
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Construction has started on a five-acre site in the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center for a truck stop, service station, convenience store and small casino. Golden Gate Petroleum of California will operate the complex at Briton Drive and USA Parkway, the main road through the center.
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Trevor Dillon is back as the purchasing manager of D & D Roofing and Sheet Metal.
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Ken Dillon, president of D & D Roofing and Sheet Metal, announced that the company has $1.6 million in new job contracts.
These include Rivervista building in Dayton; K-Mart distribution center in Sparks; U.S. Ordnance in the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center; Acura auto dealership in Reno; Burlington Coat Factory in Carson City; Damonte T.C. in Reno; Bill Pearce Porsche/BMW dealership in Reno; the Reno Women's Shelter; 1st Independent Bank in Sparks; DIS manufacturing plant in the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center and Shoreline Condominiums in Reno.
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Wal-Mart announced it is giving employees at its huge distribution center in the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center a 75 cent-an-hour cost of living salary raise. Order fillers will now be making $15.25 an hour for weekday shifts and those working the weekend shifts, which are less than 40 hours, will be making $17.10 an hour.
• Contact reporter Dave Frank at dfrank@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1212.