The importance of 'belonging' to your community

As I strolled downtown with my family Saturday morning through the new Curry Street Promenade farmer's market on 3rd Street, I expected it to be like any other farmer's market: everyone rushing in to find the best produce, slinking back home with their precious bounty, oblivious to their surroundings.

This farmer's market was different. People were talking and laughing, young families were riding in horse carriages, children were singing and jumping in bouncy houses and gardeners were discussing growing techniques with each other. I saw old friends and neighbors I hadn't seen in years. This got me reflecting about why this community event felt so special.

In mental health there is a popular saying, "It's all about relationships." What this means is that one's ability to relate positively in the world is dependent upon their capacity to find trustworthy people to love and to act lovingly toward others. To support yourself you have to be capable of forming collegial relationships at work and interacting positively with the public. To be really successful in your work, people have to like you. For instance, you can be the most brilliant accountant in the world but if people don't like you or trust you, they won't hire you. For the most part, our ability to attach to people stems from the relationships we have growing up.

Mental health in the United States is on the decline. Every 10 years large censuses of mental health evaluations are done. Suffice it to say that in the last five decades research shows that mental well-being is weakening. The basic assumption is that mental health is declining as we become a more mobile and technology-based world. When people were less mobile they grew up in a community, stayed in that community to raise their own children, continuing to reside by their families and in the community where everyone knew them. Certainly not all these relationships were positive ones, but one's community created a foundation and setting that led to a sense of belonging, groundedness, of knowing who we are.

Conversely, as people spend more time relating to others by voice mail, Internet and text messaging, we spend less time in face-to-face contact, we hear fewer familiar voices (automated ones don't count), and read fewer personal notes in a beloved's handwriting. Frankly, we are spending a lot of time these days interacting with machines. It's not just annoying, it's not good for us. As we lose a sense of these social connections and community ties, we become less stable as a whole.

People are driven to belong to their community just as they are driven to belong to each other. Yet these days it isn't uncommon for people to be separated from their families and friends due to vast geographical divides. Our communities are increasingly composed of people less "emotionally tied" together. If we aren't deeply attached to our community we won't have a psychological investment in its well-being. So, many communities are less "healthy" than they used to be. And the less connected a community is, the fewer healthy people it attracts. With little support or sense of belonging, struggling people fall prey to the ills of our society, and the community further deteriorates. Those people who yearn for healthy attachments will seek out communities where they feel they can belong.

Communities across the country are figuring this out. How have cities successfully developed a positive attachment amongst their citizens? They are doing things that both attract and help nurture "healthy citizens." Strong communities are looking to attract people who are dedicated family members, good neighbors, citizens, consumers and volunteers; those who will stick around and contribute on an ongoing basis to their cities.

Things that attract these types of citizens are good school districts, good employers, a well-developed walkable downtown, frequent community events, hiking and biking paths, user-friendly public transportation, lots of open space and parks, public libraries, and something that makes their community special (i.e., museums, river walks, rose gardens). These things bring people together to interact face-to-face, to do activities together, and to be outside " drawing in people from all socioeconomic groups, ethnic groups, and age groups. These things create a sense of belonging, participation, contentment, and people attach themselves to their community and ultimately, these citizens are emotionally healthier.

The City of Carson City is working really hard to develop this very atmosphere. The "Get down 2008" music festival on Friday and Saturday nights and the Curry Street Promenade activities like the Farmer's Market are doing just that. You can find out more about these and other activities that our city is developing at www.downtowncarsoncity.com. These events, and others like them, are worth their weight in "community attachment" gold.

If you haven't gone, please do. Sure, you will get delicious apricots and listen to wonderful music, but, even better, you will feel part of our wonderful community in a much deeper way.

- Fresh Ideas: Starting conversations by sharing personal perspectives on timely and timeless issues. Lisa Keating, Ph.D., is a Carson City clinical psychologist.