One family's spiral into homelessness

Editor's note: Steve Graham, once a homeowner and a business manager in Carson City, said he wrote the following column to illustrate to others how quickly a life can change, often due to circumstances " medical or financial " beyond a person's control. As of this writing, he said, he's uncertain where he'll be living next week

I have been told there was once a time when neighbors actually looked out for neighbors, a time when families came together to help those less fortunate than themselves and times when issues in their own backyard set precedence over those elsewhere. I can't help but wonder what motivates but only a small group of agencies and services to help when there are so many who simply choose to ignore the obvious.

What needs to take place to raise our community's level of social awareness and reach-out when needed or asked? On a global scale, we have all been familiarized with world hunger, we have all played witness to a series of catastrophic international events from earthquake ravaged China to the devastating floods of Burma. Nationally, we have played witness to destructive tornados, levy breaches and catastrophic flooding in our own Midwest. On an individual level, we are each forced to face concerns regarding gasoline prices now exceeding $4.10 per gallon, food prices nearing record highs and utilities and other soaring on a daily basis.

Following our own personal yet catastrophic chain of events that resulted in the loss of our family, home and financial security, a home we had owned mortgage free, my wife, two children and I were forced into living in a sleazy, noisy 12 feet by 12 feet roadside motel where we survived for nearly eight months in an attempt to save money and rebuild our lives. During that time we developed a family closeness, a bonding if you will, unlike anything previous. We were frightened while being humbled yet remained appreciative of what little we had left. In the months that followed we managed to set aside just enough money to attempt a re-start at rebuilding our lives knowing that starting over would require a minimum of $3,500, maybe more, a sum of money few of us have. We located a small clean little rental in a quiet neighborhood and paid our first and last months rent. We posted the required security deposits and paid the required utility start-up costs. We were attempting the rebuilding process we had promised each other while holding on to our faith, hope and prayers. It appears I failed once again.

I am typing this dialog while awaiting another appointment with Nevada Job Connect (our local public resource center for those looking for work); my wife and I have yet to find re-employment thus far but we continue our search daily. I can't help but ponder the other 12 adults using the computer lab today and wonder if their circumstances are as desperate as our own. I know in my heart that in some small yet amazing way, we are all connected in this universe, yet today I have never felt more disconnected, isolated or desperate.

Only weeks past, my wife, children and I were waking daily to ice-cold showers as our natural gas that provides heat had been terminated weeks before. We played table games by candlelight in the evening hours with our children while awaiting the darkness as our electricity had been terminated previously as well. We were the dark and cold house on the block yet nobody ever noticed. We had no TV, no Internet, cell or residential telephones, no lights, microwave, refrigerator or heat, just each other and our dreams of a better tomorrow and our willingness to try "one more time."

My 14-year-son graduated middle school a short while back with nearly a 4.0 GPA. He continues to make us proud yet I know he's scared and confused by our circumstance. He has so little yet asks for nothing. His 14th birthday was but a week-or-so ago yet he asked for nothing and expected nothing.

My oldest daughter graduated high school with academic honors and also makes us proud. She deals with our family difficulties in her own yet very private way. Our wedding anniversary came and went, a gallon of gas and milk for the kids' breakfast cereal set precedence over gifts and celebration, as did my wife's birthday. It came and went also.

Both my wife and I are unemployed professionals and we continue to wonder if our prayers are being heard? Our 30-day eviction notice came to pass 11 days ago. We left behind a 60-day delinquent utility bill, our rent 60 days delinquent and zero financial resources to move anywhere. We were even lacking the financial resources to place into storage what little we had left and thus sold virtually every bit of personal property during our final move-out day at a panic garage sale.

We are now separated, my wife and children living in a vacant-empty low-rent one bedroom apartment while I sleep on the floor in but another sleazy roadside motel. Our only transportation sits quietly in the motel parking lot empty of gas, registration now past due by 2 days and insurance non-existent. Somehow the term "being grounded" now takes on a new meaning.

Who were we you might ask? We were quite possibly your next door neighbor.