Nobody asked us, but ... Many happy, and one not-so-happy, returns

Carolyn was extremely appreciative of all the presents and lunches she received for her birthday, and, in case you missed it, would still be extremely appreciative of any more to come (some people will beg for free lunches and presents for weeeeks). Others who might be considered this week are birthday boys and girls Ken Cavallero, Kirk Brown, Debra Hanson, Kurt Garrett and Jo Saulisberry (actually we don't know when Jo's BD is, but she told someone we had missed her ... so there). Many happy returns to all.

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Speaking of "returns," we hear that one of our stores in CC does not give you a full return on returned items, but charges a 15 percent "restocking" fee based on the original price, therefore, if an item costs $100, they will give you $85 back and keep the $15 for "restocking," better known as putting it back on the shelf. Before buying, we think you had better ask about this policy ... or ask if you could restock it yourself and save the dough. Fat chance.

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Speaking of stores, we have two new ones in CC, Kohl's and Big Lots. Kohl's is in the old Mervyn's near Raley's, and Big Lots will open soon next to the Burlington Coat Factory. That's good news, but it's too bad Nissan had to close. We'll all be glad when this recession recesses.

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Vernon Manke does his best to crack us up, and often succeeds (these are off the Internet): "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." "Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't." "I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it ... so I said 'Implants?'" "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department uses water." And, "War does not determine who is right ... only who is left."

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We were sorry to see that Frank Holub passed away Sept. 15. Our deepest sympathy goes out to his wife, Pat, and their family. Their son-in-law, John Srch, also passed away recently, so they've been hit twice. Please keep them in your prayers.

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Ahhhh ... a story of a local business who probably ought to rethink the "out-sourcing" of their business office. On Sept. 1, M got a check returned for $158, with the statement that she didn't owe it. She then received a bill for $79 for "services rendered," and paid that on the 9th. She then got a rather clipped call from the "business office" saying they hadn't received the $79 payment (which was mailed back to them within a week), so would she put it on a credit card, which she did. She then called them back, and again talked to a "clipped" voice, and asked them to return the check when they got it, which they did, only this time they sent her a "refund check," saying she had "overpiad" (sic). M called to make sure it was for the earlier charge (it was), but was told she now owed, $102, for which the bill was in the mail (and which will be paid upon receipt). Is M nuts? (don't answer that) or does this seem weird to you? She would rather they cash the checks, then bill her for any additional charges, or send her a refund for any extra funds. AND don't call her again for a check paid within 10 days. &%#$ (that's M cussing, for the uninformed).

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From Terry Beauchamp's hometown newspaper: "Ole was explaining to Sven how he finally managed to get his aunts to quit bugging him about getting married. 'My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in da ribs and cackle, telling me, 'You're next.' But dey stopped after I started doing the same thing to dem at funerals."

• Carolyn Tate and Maizie Harris Jesse are longtime Carson City residents. They can be reached at editor@nevadaappeal.com.