Boomers getting involved in parents' finances

As I meet with clients of the baby boomer generation, I see more and more of them getting more involved in the financial affairs of their elderly parents. Although this may be due in part to an increased awareness over their parents of economic matters, bringing up the subject of money can nonetheless, be extraordinarily difficult to broach with parents. However, I think a positive conversation can be achieved with the proper choice of tone, timing and words.

I think the first conversations surrounding money should be done with only one offspring. Involving multiple siblings or other outsiders can be intimidating. If you have siblings, choose one - maybe the oldest, most financially knowledgeable, or one with whom your parent(s) may feel most comfortable - to lead the way. It's hard to remember, but don't forget that this is about your parents' money and not about you.

For the most part, we enjoy our independence as human beings and our financial health can impact how independent we view ourselves. As many senior citizens navigate through retirement, they begin dealing with a series of physical and emotional losses: eyesight, mobility, memory, and hearing. Often, even senior's relationships with nonfamily members eventually fade or are lost as years pass. During any dialogue surrounding finances, it is critical to be particularly sensitive to the fears and concerns parents may hold surrounding their possible loss of control. Nobody likes the feeling of loss of independence.

I think it's important to be methodical in one's approach to opening a conversation on personal finances with your parents. A cautious introduction could be an article you read in the paper or a relative's experience you both are aware of.

You could even begin the conversation with an experience you recently

had. You could ask soft, probing questions that can safely open the dialogue and not cause reason to be defensive. "I need help with my trust. What attorney did you use?" Or, "Have you seen your new Social Security statements, Do you understand the new format?"

You could ask how someone is doing such as, "How's Uncle Ben doing since Aunt Penny passed away?"

Or, you could ask how they felt (and their parents) during the Great Depression - what was it like?

Another probing question might be to inquire if they watched a TV special or read an article about something relevant for seniors such as healthcare, Medicare, elder abuse, etc.

The point is you want to begin slowly and don't rush the conversation into areas that could be viewed as threatening. Avoid trying to solve all problems in one meeting or initiating conversations during crisis situations or critical moments. Raise questions that your parents can consider for a follow-up conversation. Suggest that you come by the house in a couple of days or week and finish up the conversation at that time. Give it some time to digest what has been discussed. Maybe you'll have those papers signed by then?

You never know, your parents may actually enjoy the conversations. After a few, light discussions, you may wish to seek the assistance of a financial professional. For more information, contact the National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org) and AARP (www.aarp.org ).

If you'd like to learn more, call me at 689-8704.

• William Creekbaum, MBA, CFP, a Washoe Valley resident, is senior investment management consultant of Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC. He can be reached at William.a.creekbaum@mssb.com or 689-8704.